Richard Reeves20 April 2026

A Shocking Turn in the War on Men - Richard Reeves - #1087

0Frameworks

10Insights

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 3

Myth Buster089:30

Should Dads Be in the Birthing Room?

Contrary to the modern assumption that fathers must be present during childbirth, the guest argues the evidence is mixed and it's a personal choice. He shares humorous personal stories of being more of a hindrance than a help during his children's births. The key is not obligation, but ensuring both parents feel comfortable, whether that means the dad is present or not.

The practice of fathers being in the birthing room is relatively new, only common for the past 40 years.
The guest recounts his own experience of being unhelpful, trying to assemble a fan during labor.
Midwives have mistaken a dad's testicle for a baby's head, leading to awkward moments.
The decision should be based on the mother's comfort, not societal pressure.

“I've grabbed him by the bollocks, etc.”
guest · 094:20

“We've never done this before. The evidence is a little bit mixed.”
guest · 091:20

#fatherhood#childbirth#parenting#family

Myth Buster42:30

The Myth That Dads Aren't Doing Their Share

The guest challenges the common narrative that fathers are shirking domestic duties. He argues that when you account for all work—paid and unpaid—full-time working dads and moms contribute roughly the same number of hours per week. Dads do more paid work, moms do more unpaid work, but the total is 'amazingly similar.' The 'deadbeat dad' stereotype is outdated and harmful.

Full-time working dads do about 8 hours more paid work per week than moms.
Full-time working moms do about 8 hours more unpaid work (household, childcare) per week.
The total work week for both is nearly identical.
The 'deadbeat dad' narrative is a 'colossally terrible social science' that demeans fathers.

“They are putting in the same work week.”
guest · 43:50

“It's just untrue. And every time I see that, it infuriates me as a dad.”
guest · 42:40

#fatherhood#gender roles#work-life balance#family

Myth Buster103:00

Title IX Isn't Holding Men Back in College

The guest debunks the idea that Title IX, which promotes gender equity in education, is responsible for fewer men in college. He explains it's primarily an anti-discrimination law, not an affirmative action program for women. The gender imbalance in higher education is due to men's lower academic performance, not a 'thumb on the scale' against them.

Title IX prohibits sex discrimination in education but doesn't mandate quotas.
There's no evidence colleges admit less-qualified women over more-qualified men.
The exception is private, single-sex colleges, which may favor men to maintain balance.
The real issue is men's falling behind in K-12, not discrimination in college admissions.

“There's no evidence that the reason there are more women in college now than men is because there's a thumb on the scale in favor…”
guest · 103:50

#education#Title IX#gender equity#college

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take06:30

Why Activists Are Psychologically Reluctant to Win

The guest observes that some men's rights activists dismiss genuine policy progress, not because it's ineffective, but because their identity is tied to perpetual struggle. He cites a rabbi's insight: 'Activists are always psychologically reluctant to succeed.' Celebrating wins threatens their sense of purpose, leading them to downplay victories like new government commissions for boys and men.

Some activists reject real progress because their identity is built on fighting a losing battle.
The guest compares this to climate or LGBTQ activists who can't acknowledge partial wins.
He warns this mindset harms the cause by making it seem unserious.
The goal should be to make the issue 'boring' and mainstream, not perpetually urgent.

“Activists are always psychologically reluctant to succeed.”
guest · 07:10

“I want this issue to become boring. I want this issue to be mainstream.”
guest · 05:50

#activism#psychology#men's rights#identity

Explainer· 1

Explainer00:30

Why Democrats Are Finally Addressing the Boys' Crisis

Since the 2024 election, there's been a significant political shift as Democratic leaders, especially governors, began launching serious initiatives to support boys and men. This change was driven by the realization that they lost young male voters in large numbers, making it a political necessity to act. The guest notes that while the motivation may be political, the resulting policies—like male mentoring programs and mental health support—are real progress.

Governors like Newsom, Whitmer, and Cox have launched initiatives for boys and men in education, employment, and mental health.
Two new bills in Congress aim to create a national men's health strategy and support fathers' mental health.
The shift followed Democrats' significant loss of young male voters in the 2024 election.
The guest welcomes the political response, saying, 'Isn't that how democracies are supposed to work?'

“I can't credibly say anymore, you know what, no one's paying any attention to this.”
guest · 01:00

“We can't win without young men.”
guest · 01:50

#men's issues#politics#education#mental health

Story· 1

Story77:30

Fatherhood: The Last Male Institution

The guest shares a powerful personal story about how becoming a father fundamentally changed him. He describes it as an 'imperceptible click' where he became a different person, realizing there were lives more important than his own. He calls fatherhood 'the last male institution' because it's a uniquely male experience that transforms men in pro-social ways.

Becoming a father creates an existential shift, making a man prioritize his children above himself.
This transformation is a powerful force for good in society.
The rise in childlessness is troubling because it means fewer men are experiencing this pro-social shift.
It's a 'last male institution' because it's inherently tied to the male role in reproduction.

“There is a life or lives in the world that are just unambiguously more important than your own.”
guest · 78:20

#fatherhood#masculinity#personal growth#family

Q&A· 2

Q&A112:00

Do Young Men Still Want to Marry and Have Kids?

A recent survey of young men aged 18-29 shows that the narrative of widespread male disengagement is overstated. The majority of unmarried men want to get married, most men open to dating are looking for relationships, and a significant number of childless young men want to become fathers. The crisis is more about circumstance than lack of desire.

68% of unmarried young men want to get married.
74% of single men are open to dating.
62% of childless young men want to be a father.
The main barriers are economic and social circumstances, not a rejection of family life.

“The crisis isn't lacking desire, it's circumstance.”
guest · 112:20

#dating#marriage#fatherhood#youth

Q&A49:30

Has Society Been Feminized?

The guest is skeptical of claims that society has been 'feminized' in a way that harms men. He argues that while some fields like K-12 education are heavily female, this is a real problem that needs addressing by getting more men into those professions. However, he dismisses the idea that the legal profession is worse because of women, noting that AI will soon make gender irrelevant in many jobs.

He is concerned about the 'real feminization problem' in education and mental healthcare.
He disagrees with the notion that women's presence in law has made it worse.
He believes AI will disrupt many professions, making gender debates obsolete.
The focus should be on creating opportunities for men in growing fields, not returning to the past.

“The legal profession is not going to be around for that much longer and certainly not in it. AI is better than men and women.”
guest · 51:20

#gender roles#workforce#education#technology

Takeaway· 2

Takeaway26:30

The Message Young Men Need: 'We Need You'

Instead of framing support for boys and men as 'poor you,' the guest argues the most effective message is 'we need you.' Young men need to hear that society, their families, and their communities value their unique contributions as men. This sense of being needed is a powerful motivator for positive engagement.

The message 'we need you' is more empowering than 'we're here to help you.'
Boys and men need to feel their masculinity is a 'feature, not a bug.'
This sense of purpose can counter feelings of uselessness and disengagement.
It's about recognizing what men bring, not despite being men, but because they are men.

“Society still needs you. The tribe still needs you. Your family still needs you. Your kids for the love of God definitely still need you.”
guest · 26:50

#masculinity#mental health#purpose#youth

Takeaway107:30

Why We Should Be Optimistic About the Future of Men

Despite the current mess, the guest is an 'invent optimist,' believing that optimism itself is a virtue. He sees young men and women trying to figure out new gender roles in good faith and moving past zero-sum thinking. The relentless negativity in media is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and a more hopeful narrative is needed to inspire positive action.

Optimism is not just a personality trait but a valuable virtue.
Young people are trying to figure out new realities in good faith.
Pessimism is a 'self-fulfilling prophecy' that harms society.
The goal is to move past ideological traps and focus on human flourishing.

“My optimism isn't just an orientation or a personality trait. It is that I think for me it's getting close to something like a virtue.”
guest · 107:50

#future#optimism#youth#culture