Are Incels A Threat To Society? - William Costello - #526

Incel Violence Is Overhyped — Suicidality Is the Real Threat

Contrary to media narratives, the guest argues that incels are not a major terrorist threat. The global death toll from incel-related violence is low, and most attacks are not ideologically coherent. Instead, the real danger is internal: extreme loneliness, depression, and suicidality. Over 80% of incels in his study had seriously considered suicide.

Most Incels Are Not Right-Wing — They’re Actually Left-Leaning

Contrary to popular belief, the guest’s research shows that incels are not predominantly right-wing or white. In his sample, 45% identified as left-leaning, 39% as right-leaning, and nearly 40% were non-white. Their discourse often focuses on inequality and sexual redistribution, challenging the stereotype of incels as misogynistic extremists.

• 45% of incels in the study identified as left-leaning, 39% as right-leaning.
• 63.5% were white, 36.5% were non-white.
• Many incels critique the 'racism of the mating market' and desire more egalitarian access.
• Their language is often toxic, but self-hatred is more common than misogyny.

The Modern Mating Crisis and a Huxley-Style Dystopia

The guest describes the current mating crisis as a cultural shift where both men and women increasingly prioritize individualism, career success, and hedonistic lifestyles over relationships and family. He compares this trend to Aldous Huxley’s 'Brave New World,' warning of a dystopian future where people are atomized, disconnected from kin, and driven by corporate interests that benefit from a workforce of single, child-free individuals.

• The mating crisis reflects a shift toward individualism and away from traditional family structures.
• Corporate interests benefit from single, child-free workers who can commit to long hours.
• The trend mirrors Huxley’s dystopian vision of pleasure-driven, emotionally detached lives.
• This cultural shift is evolutionarily novel and potentially destabilizing.

Hypergamy Is Declining — And That’s a Problem

The guest explains that hypergamy — women’s tendency to mate with equal or higher-status partners — is in decline as more women become highly educated and economically independent. While some see this as progress, he argues it has unintended consequences, including increased female infidelity and higher rates of intimate partner violence when women out-earn their partners.

• As women surpass men in education and income, hypergamy becomes harder to fulfill.
• Female infidelity has risen 40% over the past 50 years, possibly linked to declining hypergamy.
• Women earning more than their partners are more likely to experience intimate partner violence.
• Men may resort to 'cost-inflicting' mate retention strategies when they feel at risk of losing higher-earning partners.

Young Male Syndrome — But Pacified by Porn and Online Status

The guest discusses 'young male syndrome' — the idea that unpartnered young men are historically disruptive. While incels could represent a dangerous surplus of mateless men, their aggression may be dampened by online substitutes: pornography, internet fame, and virtual status. These 'counterfeit fitness cues' may prevent real-world violence but keep men isolated.

• Unpartnered young men have historically been a destabilizing force in society.
• Online worlds may be 'pacifying' this energy with porn and status-seeking.
• Diana Fleischman’s 'uncanny vulvas' article describes how porn provides false evolutionary rewards.
• This creates a sedated but still deeply unhappy population.

Dating Apps Turn Mate-Seeking Into a Global Status Game

The guest explains that online dating has created an evolutionary mismatch. People now compete globally for mates, facing constant rejection that feels catastrophic due to ancestral psychology. This fuels insecurity, especially among men who feel they can’t compete with high-status 'Chads' or celebrities like Leonardo DiCaprio.

• Dating apps expose users to a global pool, increasing perceived competition.
• Rejection feels more painful because humans evolved in small communities.
• People now rack up more rejection in an afternoon than ancestors did in a lifetime.
• This fuels the incel worldview and sense of permanent inadequacy.

Why Leonardo DiCaprio Dates 25-Year-Olds — Evolutionary Signals

The guest analyzes DiCaprio’s dating pattern — consistently dating women around 25 — as a display of evolutionary fitness. For men, dating much younger women signals high mate value. For women, seeing a man with a much younger partner can trigger mate-copying instincts, making him seem more desirable.

• DiCaprio’s preference for 25-year-olds signals fertility and youth.
• It also signals his own high status — he can attract young, fertile partners.
• Women may use this as a proxy for mate value: 'If he can get her, he must be good.'
• Criticism of age gaps often leverages incest disgust, even when unfounded.

Why Incels Stay in the Community — It’s About Belonging

Despite the negativity, many incels stay in online forums because they finally feel understood. The community offers a sense of fraternity and 'virtuous victimhood' — a rare identity that validates their suffering. However, this can be a double-edged sword, as many also report the forums make them feel hopeless.

• Incels join forums to feel understood, less lonely, and part of a group.
• The identity provides 'virtuous victimhood,' which is culturally valued.
• Over half report the forums make them feel hopeless.
• Some members discourage others from 'ascending' or dating, enforcing despair.