MModern Wisdom
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05 September 2019

Episode 100 Special Edition Q&A - #100

1Frameworks
13Insights

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Frameworks in this episode

Peak Performance5 steps

The Widowmaker Set

Do 20 reps with your 10-rep-max weight to hit your physical and mental limit in one set.

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Hot Take· 2

Hot Take

Most self-help books are a 20-page blog post padded to 200

Discussing reading for pleasure, Chris relays productivity coach Chris Sparks' view that 90% of self-help and productivity books are a 20-page blog post buried in 180 pages of examples. Fiction like 1984 taught him more than most of them.

  • Most such books contain one meaningful concept and lots of fluff
  • Book-summary services help but strip the context that gives the idea meaning
  • Novels (1984, The Alchemist, The Stranger) can teach more than self-help
  • Reading for pleasure has real value, not just utility

“90% of self-help and productivity books are a 20-page blog post with 180 pages of examples.”

Chris Williamson
#reading#books#learning
Hot Take

Trans athletes in sport: separating fairness from gender politics

The hosts work through the trans-athletes-in-sport question from a sporting-fairness angle, using examples like Laurel Hubbard and Zuby's deadlift stunt. Their argument: you have to separate the socio-cultural gender debate from measurable physiological advantages, and the debate stalls because the fundamental premises aren't agreed.

  • Combat and strength sports raise real physiological-advantage questions
  • Years of testosterone exposure affect physiology measurably
  • Two competing goods: gender expression vs sporting fairness
  • Debate stalls when basic premises (biological difference) aren't agreed

“You gotta really separate the socio-cultural issues of gender and gender politics from just the pure sporting judgment.”

Chris Williamson
#sport#gender#debate#fairness

Explainer· 3

Explainer

Why deeper self-improvement can feel lonelier (and what to do)

A listener asks whether progress in self-development compounds loneliness. Drawing on Alain de Botton's 'why we're fated to be lonely,' Chris argues people trade honesty for acceptance to stay tribal. His fix: rather than fewer deep connections meaning isolation, more knowledge gives you more 'arms' to connect with different people on.

  • People compromise honesty to be accepted by their tribe
  • The more you learn, the fewer people relate to everything you do
  • But you gain more topics to connect with more people on
  • Serving a niche in friendship works like serving a niche in business

“Given the choice between honesty and acceptability, most of us will compromise our honesty in order to be accepted.”

Chris Williamson
#loneliness#self-improvement#philosophy
Explainer

Solitude vs being alone: Cal Newport's distinction

Chris cites Cal Newport's definition of solitude as time away from the input of other people's thoughts. Being physically alone with a phone, TV, or radio on isn't solitude. True solitude means no other stimulus but your own output, like journaling.

  • Solitude = freedom from others' thoughts, not just being alone
  • A phone or background media cancels solitude even when alone
  • Most people never actually experience solitude
  • Avoiding solitude can mean avoiding thoughts you should face

“Cal Newport's definition of solitude... time away from the input of other people's thoughts.”

Chris Williamson
#solitude#attention#cal-newport
Explainer

Getting on the property ladder, and the REIT alternative

Asked about getting onto the property ladder, one host's plan is to build a ~£35k deposit and buy a two-to-three-bed to let out the spare rooms. The other suggests REITs (real estate investment trusts) as a way to get property-style returns without the discrete lump sums. Both flag it's not financial advice.

  • Classic route: save a deposit, buy, let the spare rooms
  • REITs give exposure to property returns without buying whole properties
  • REITs remove the need for large per-property deposits
  • Explicitly framed as not financial advice

“It's like an aggregate of a property portfolio that you get to buy into, so you can get exposure to the return without going all…”

Chris Williamson
#property#investing#reits#finance

Story· 1

Story

The 'lemon ball' story: why men shouldn't ignore health issues

Yusuf recounts letting a hydrocele swell to the size of a lemon before seeking help, walking through GP, ultrasound, and surgery. The comic detail underlines a serious point: male denial of health issues runs deep, and problems only get worse until you get them checked.

  • Male denial leads to rationalising obvious symptoms as normal
  • It often takes someone else pointing it out to prompt action
  • Transillumination (a light shone through) helped rule out cancer
  • Trying to fix it yourself makes it worse; see a GP early

“The moral of the story is if you have a problem like this, it's only going to get worse until you seek medical help.”

Yusuf

“Because the male denial of health issues runs so deep you end up just ignoring.”

Yusuf
#mens-health#testicular-health#story

Tool· 3

Tool

Sleep with your phone outside the room: the highest-return life hack

Asked for the single life hack he couldn't go without, Chris names keeping his phone out of the bedroom overnight. He describes the downstream effects as compounding, comparing them to the knock-on benefits of getting a dog.

  • Removing the phone from the bedroom removes a cascade of temptations
  • Downstream effects (better sleep, mornings, mood) compound
  • The best life hacks integrate seamlessly and become invisible
  • Tradeoff: you lose phone-based sleep tracking

“If you put your phone outside of your room before you go to bed... it's the same as getting a dog: happiness, walks, fresh air,…”

Chris Williamson
#life-hacks#sleep#phone#habits
Tool

Beat a bad day by changing your physical state

Asked how they handle down days, the hosts agree the fastest reset is changing your physical state: move, train, change temperature with a cold or hot shower. Chris says he gets a better mindset reset from training than from a night's sleep.

  • Get out of your head and into your body
  • A finished workout delivers an immediate mood shift
  • Cold/hot showers, walks, and coffee all change state
  • Paul Mort's idea: where attention goes, energy flows

“I get a better mindset reset from training than I do from a night's sleep.”

Chris Williamson
#mood#state-change#training#mental-health
Tool

Dissolve jealousy by sitting with it until the bubble bursts

Seth describes curing jealousy by sitting on a rock in Finland for two hours and fully diving into the feeling. His model: a front-of-mind emotion looks huge and intimidating, but if you penetrate to its centre it bursts and the usual triggers stop firing. He points to Radical Acceptance and the Byron Katie method as accessible starting points.

  • Front-of-mind emotions feel bigger than they are
  • Diving fully into the sensations and beliefs makes them burst
  • Afterwards the old triggers no longer set the feeling off
  • Radical Acceptance and the Byron Katie method are entry points

“You just penetrate to the centre of it and then it'll burst and you realise there's no pain attached to it anymore.”

Seth
#emotions#meditation#acceptance

Takeaway· 4

Takeaway

The master life hack is to constantly iterate and experiment

Reviewing how their favourite hacks come and go, the hosts conclude the real meta-skill isn't any single tool but a habit of continuous experimentation. Some hacks stick and become invisible; many get discarded as circumstances change.

  • Life hacks naturally evolve; most are eventually dropped
  • The ones that stick integrate so well you forget them (cruise control, AirPods)
  • Constant trial is the underlying practice
  • Context changes (e.g. injury) make old hacks obsolete

“The master hack is to just be constantly iterating and experimenting.”

Johnny
#life-hacks#experimentation#habits
Takeaway

Everyone should experience one hour of undistracted deep conversation

Asked what everyone should experience once, Chris says: be on a podcast, or failing that, sit with someone for an hour with both phones out of the room and talk about something you're genuinely interested in. The value is a deep conversation that leaves both people better than before.

  • Modern attention is fragmented by double- and triple-screening
  • You can start a podcast cheaply about anything you care about
  • The real goal is undistracted, phone-free deep conversation
  • Both people leave the room better than they entered

“Sit down with someone for one hour, both phones outside of the room, and have a discussion about something that you think will interest you.”

Chris Williamson
#conversation#attention#connection
Takeaway

You can't stick to goals you never defined

On sticking to goals, the hosts note most people say they haven't achieved their goals but can't name them. They reference Nietzsche's 'he who has the right why can bear almost any how' and Nat Eliason's rebuttal that systems without goals are pointless.

  • Most people can't articulate their actual goals
  • A clear high-level 'why' makes the process pieces fall into place
  • Process matters, but systems still need a goal to serve
  • Tools like Jordan Peterson's Future Authoring can help define them

“He who has the right why can bear almost any how.”

Chris Williamson
#goals#systems#productivity
Takeaway

Upgrade your circle by going where interesting people gather

To improve your network and step away from passive people, the hosts advise going to places aligned with your interests (for them, the gym) where you'll meet people who share them. Paywalled or exclusive communities raise quality because members have put money where their mouth is.

  • Go to the hangout of the interest to find like-minded people
  • Shared-interest spaces surface deeper, higher-quality connections
  • Paywalls and mentorships filter for committed people
  • Be friends with people who want the best for you

“If you want to meet interesting people, go to interesting places.”

Johnny
#network#relationships#environment