Mary Harrington02 March 2023

Feminism Is No Longer Helping Women - Mary Harrington - #596

0Frameworks

9Insights

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 1

Myth Buster01:30

Feminism Isn't About Moral Progress

Harrington challenges the idea that feminism represents moral progress. Instead, she frames it as a response to material and technological changes—especially the Industrial Revolution—which reshaped family life and women's roles. Feminism, she argues, emerged as women adapted to these new conditions.

Feminism is not inherently moral progress but a reaction to economic and technological shifts.
The Industrial Revolution removed work from the home, changing women's economic roles.
Legal reforms like the Married Women's Property Act were practical responses, not moral victories.
Different classes of women had conflicting interests, complicating a unified feminist narrative.

“Feminism isn't about moral progress... it's downstream of much larger material changes.”
Mary Harrington · 16:30

#feminism#history#industrial-revolution#gender

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take64:30

The Left's Blind Spot on Bodily Commodification

Harrington criticizes the political left for opposing capitalism while supporting the commodification of the human body—through surrogacy, gender-affirming surgeries, and organ sales—often at the expense of the poor and vulnerable.

The left opposes economic exploitation but supports bodily commodification.
Poor women in India opt for hysterectomies to gain employment.
A U.S. bill offers reduced sentences for incarcerated people who donate organs.
This creates a market where the rich buy and the poor sell body parts.

“If we're starting to treat human bodies as things which can be disassembled and reassembled, then there's going to be a market—and some people are…”
Mary Harrington · 65:00

#ethics#capitalism#surrogacy#left-wing-politics

Explainer· 3

Explainer00:00

Why Commodifying Yourself Destroys Trust Between Sexes

Mary Harrington argues that the cultural normalization of turning oneself into a subscription product—like on OnlyFans—undermines trust and vulnerability between men and women. This dynamic creates an adversarial and exploitative relationship, making it nearly impossible for people to form meaningful, loving connections.

Treating oneself as a marketable product erodes interpersonal trust.
The normalization of platforms like OnlyFans promotes an exploitative dynamic between sexes.
This shift makes long-term love and relationships increasingly difficult to sustain.
Harrington sees this as catastrophic for human happiness and family formation.

“Commodifying yourself even to the point of making yourself a subscription product on OnlyFans is not only legitimate but it's also empowering... leaves people in…”
Mary Harrington · 00:00

#feminism#relationships#technology#sexuality

Explainer22:00

The Feminism of Care vs. the Feminism of Freedom

Harrington identifies two competing strands in feminist thought: the 'feminism of care,' which values interdependence and motherhood, and the 'feminism of freedom,' which prioritizes individual autonomy and market participation. She argues the latter has dominated, often at the expense of the former.

The 'feminism of care' values relationships, motherhood, and emotional labor.
The 'feminism of freedom' emphasizes autonomy, career, and independence from traditional roles.
These two visions are often in conflict, especially around motherhood and work.
The 'freedom' model has won culturally, marginalizing care-based perspectives.

“There are the feminism of care or interdependence and the feminism of freedom.”
Mary Harrington · 22:30

#feminism#motherhood#autonomy#care

Explainer35:30

How Online Dating Paved the Way for OnlyFans

Harrington explains that online dating normalized the idea of presenting oneself as a product in a marketplace. This commodification of identity made the leap to platforms like OnlyFans—a subscription-based model for intimate content—less shocking and more inevitable.

Online dating profiles are essentially marketing products.
This mindset of self-as-product lowers the barrier to monetizing intimacy.
OnlyFans is not a radical departure but a continuation of this trend.
The cultural message that this is 'empowering' masks deeper exploitation.

“The beginning of the slippery slope is online dating as such.”
Mary Harrington · 36:30

#online-dating#only-fans#commodification#relationships

Story· 1

Story57:00

Pregnancy Doesn't Just Create a Baby—It Creates a Mother

Harrington shares her personal experience of motherhood, describing how her newborn felt like an extension of her body. She argues that pregnancy biologically and emotionally transforms a woman into a mother in ways that surrogacy or adoption cannot replicate.

New mothers often feel their baby is part of their own body.
Pregnancy primes the brain for caregiving in irreversible ways.
Surrogacy severs this biological bond intentionally.
This bond is crucial for optimal maternal attachment and child development.

“Pregnancy doesn't just create a baby—it also creates a mother.”
Mary Harrington · 54:50

“My baby didn't feel like a separate person to me for a very long time.”
Mary Harrington · 57:30

#motherhood#pregnancy#surrogacy#biology

Q&A· 1

Q&A85:30

Men Don't Listen to Women—They Listen to Other Men

When asked how to improve men, Harrington argues that women shouting at men won't make them better. Instead, men are shaped by older men and male peers. She calls for more single-sex male spaces to allow this formation to happen.

Men are more influenced by other men than by women.
Shaming or lecturing men doesn't produce better behavior.
Male socialization in all-male spaces is crucial for development.
Banning male-only spaces harms both men and women in the long run.

“Women don't make good men—men make each other.”
Mary Harrington · 86:00

#men#masculinity#socialization#single-sex-spaces

Tool· 1

Tool92:00

The Pill Changed Women's Attraction and Personality

Harrington shares her personal experience of how hormonal birth control made her 'fat and sexless and insane.' She highlights growing evidence that the pill alters libido, personality, and even who women are attracted to—effects only noticed after stopping it.

Hormonal birth control can suppress libido and cause depression.
It changes who women are attracted to, often without their awareness.
Many women report a 'personality transplant' after going off the pill.
These effects are under-discussed despite being widespread.

“I stopped taking the pill because it made me fat and sexless and insane.”
Mary Harrington · 92:30

#birth-control#hormones#mental-health#feminism

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway98:00

Abolish Big Romance, Embrace Post-Romantic Marriage

Harrington advocates for moving beyond the 'self-expressive marriage'—where partners must constantly fulfill each other's emotional needs—toward a 'post-romantic marriage' based on loyalty, stability, and mutual dependence, even when love fades.

Modern 'self-expressive' marriages prioritize personal fulfillment.
This model fails when partners no longer 'optimize' each other.
Post-romantic marriage values loyalty over constant passion.
Stability and interdependence are more sustainable than endless optionality.

“We need to embrace post-romantic marriage and lean into the fact that we're past progress.”
Mary Harrington · 98:30

#marriage#relationships#romance#commitment