❝Story05:30
Why Michael Started Drinking at Age 9
Michael Cazayoux shares that his first drink at age 9 made him feel accepted and comfortable in his body for the first time, which later revealed his underlying anxiety and deep need to be liked. This moment marked the beginning of his long struggle with substances.
- Took his first shot of whiskey on his 9th birthday
- Felt a sense of acceptance and comfort he hadn't felt before
- Later realized he was a very anxious kid who craved approval
- This early experience laid the foundation for future addiction
“I remember taking a shot of whiskey and just feeling like, maybe for the first time, that I was accepted and feeling really comfortable in…”
#addiction#mental health#childhood trauma#self-acceptance
❝Story06:00
Attending AA Meetings at 15 While Still Using
At age 15, Michael was taken to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings after failing multiple drug tests. Though he felt empathy for others, he believed he didn’t belong because he was still in denial about his own addiction, even as he continued using heavily.
- Started attending AA at 15 after failing drug tests
- Felt empathy for adults with severe addiction but believed he was different
- Continued using drugs while attending meetings
- Was in complete denial about having a problem
“I really developed some empathy for these people... But I wasn't one of them. You know, I totally wasn't.”
#addiction#denial#recovery#teen substance abuse
❝Story08:30
Friend Dies, He Shoots Up Heroin the Same Day
When one of Michael’s close friends died from an overdose, instead of attending the funeral, he chose to shoot up heroin and cocaine for the first time—marking a profound moral low point and illustrating how detached he had become from empathy and responsibility.
- A close friend died from an Oxycontin and Xanax overdose
- Chose not to attend the funeral
- First time injecting heroin and cocaine happened the same day
- Admits he had become completely detached from caring about others
“Instead of going to this guy's funeral I chose to shoot up Oxycontin and cocaine for the first time. And that really shows you the…”
#addiction#loss#moral decline#trauma
❝Story13:00
How Rehab Transformed His Mindset
After years of addiction, Michael entered a 9–11 month inpatient rehab program that included wilderness therapy and peer-led accountability. This experience quieted his chaotic mind and taught him vulnerability, laying the foundation for lasting change.
- Spent 9–11 months in inpatient rehab and a halfway house
- Wilderness therapy helped quiet his anxious, chaotic mind
- Peers challenged his dishonesty and forced deeper honesty
- Learned to accept accountability and emotional vulnerability
“They had guys just saying, 'That's bullshit. You're telling us 5% of the truth passing it off as the full truth.'”
#rehab#mental health#recovery#personal growth
❝Story16:30
Relapsed After Marathon Due to Isolation
After winning his age division in the Salt Lake City Marathon, Michael lost his physical goal and social connections. Isolated and depressed, he relapsed within weeks by faking back pain to get codeine, then quickly returned to heroin and crack.
- Won age division in the Salt Lake City Marathon
- Felt isolated and depressed after finishing the race
- Used isolation and illness as justification to relapse
- Faked back pain to get prescription drugs, then used heroin and crack
“I went to the university hospital, got the drugs, got in the elevator... by the time I reached the bottom floor, I had taken a…”
#addiction#relapse#mental health#isolation
❝Story24:00
Carried Guilt for a Year After Using Again
Michael didn’t tell his parents he had started using alcohol and weed again for a full year because he didn’t want to hurt them. He carried deep guilt during that time, viewing it as a burden worth bearing for their emotional safety.
- Didn’t tell his parents about reintroducing substances for a year
- Feared they would be terrified if they found out
- Felt intense guilt but believed it was the right choice
- Wanted to prove it was sustainable before telling them
“I was it was a feeling of relief and a feeling of guilt... I carried that guilt with me for about a year.”
#addiction#family#guilt#honesty
❝Story27:30
First CrossFit Workout Nearly Made Him Black Out
Michael’s first CrossFit experience was 'Fight Gone Bad,' where he pushed himself so hard he halfway blacked out and was sore for 10 days. Despite coming in last, he fell in love with the intense, communal transformation.
- First workout was 'Fight Gone Bad'
- Pushed so hard he halfway blacked out
- Was sore for about 10 days afterward
- Came in last but loved the experience
“I did one round as hard as I possibly could and I halfway blacked out from there.”
#crossfit#fitness#beginner journey#mental toughness
❝Story71:30
Quit Social Media to Regain Mental Control
Inspired by Cal Newport’s 'Deep Work,' Michael deleted all social media apps to eliminate distraction and comparison. He found he was more present and less influenced by the curated highlight reels of others.
- Deleted all social media apps after reading 'Deep Work'
- Realized he used social media to avoid discomfort
- Felt subtle resentment from comparing himself to others
- Now more present and focused without constant distraction
“I would just want to distract myself. Full back out again.”
“I don't like feeling controlled by social media.”
#digital minimalism#mental health#focus#social media