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Underoath26 June 2025

The Hidden Struggles Of Mental Health In Music - Underoath - #959

0Frameworks
8Insights

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take74:30

Obsessiveness: The Price of Great Art

The band member's obsessive attention to detail drives their music but also fuels his anxiety. This trait can't be switched off—it's both the source of their best work and their deepest struggles.

  • Obsessiveness enables precision in music production.
  • The same trait causes rumination and health anxiety.
  • You can't choose to turn it off in personal life.
  • The band values this trait despite its cost.
  • It's not a flaw to fix, but a part of identity to accept.

“The price that you have to pay in order to have that level of precision in your art form is that you don't get to…”

Guest · 75:00
#obsessiveness#mental health#artistic process#anxiety

Explainer· 3

Explainer04:00

Why Touring Feels Like a 'Velvet Prison'

The band describes touring as a 'velvet prison'—a glamorous yet isolating lifestyle that disrupts mental health. Constant displacement, lack of routine, and emotional whiplash between peak performances and silent hotel rooms keep the nervous system in fight-or-flight mode, making it hard to reconnect with family at home.

  • Touring creates chronic displacement with no grounding or permanence.
  • The nervous system stays in fight-or-flight due to constant travel and performance pressure.
  • Emotional cycles swing from deep connection on stage to total isolation off it.
  • Coming home feels disorienting; family life lacks the excitement of the road.
  • The ease of access to anything on tour devalues money, time, and relationships.

“It's a very strange kind of sort of like golden handcuffsy type thing.”

Guest · 03:30

“You go from deep connection to total isolation over and over again. That kind of cycle burns out even the most resilient people.”

Guest · 04:45
#mental health#touring#music industry#emotional regulation
Explainer05:30

How Touring Encourages Arrested Development

Life on tour fosters a kind of arrested development where adult responsibilities vanish. With everything provided—food, shopping, logistics—musicians lose touch with everyday reality, making it harder to reintegrate into family life and personal accountability.

  • Touring removes the need for personal responsibility like cooking or chores.
  • Excess and convenience devalue money, time, and effort.
  • Returning home feels like work compared to the excitement of the road.
  • Many musicians struggle with commitment and self-awareness after years on tour.
  • Conscious effort is needed to grow up and stay grounded.

“There's an arrested development that happens in touring where you have to make a conscious decision to grow up because it's very feasible and almost…”

Guest · 05:30
#arrested development#touring lifestyle#personal growth#responsibility
Explainer47:30

Why the First Album Feels the Most Authentic

The band believes their first album resonates most because it was created without external pressures. Later work, though technically better, lacks the same raw honesty. This 'first album syndrome' stems from pure intent rather than commercial calculation.

  • The first album was made purely for self-expression, not fame or profit.
  • Later albums carry the weight of expectations and comparisons.
  • Authenticity comes from earnestness, not technical skill.
  • The band still works hard on new music, but the context has changed.
  • Public perception often favors early work for its perceived sincerity.

“When we wrote 'They're Only Chasing Safety,' we never thought a bunch of people will sing this in 20 years time.”

Guest · 49:00
#artistic authenticity#first album#music industry#creative process

Story· 3

Story01:30

The Strange Intimacy of Band Life vs. Family

A band member reflects on spending more time with his bandmates than his wife and children, which creates a confusing emotional conflict. He feels guilt for loving the road while missing crucial family moments, highlighting a unique bond that can't be replicated at home.

  • Band members spend more time together than with their own families.
  • A deep, non-romantic intimacy forms between bandmates through shared experiences.
  • Returning home after long tours creates emotional dissonance and guilt.
  • Partners need time to readjust when the musician returns.
  • The bond with bandmates is distinct from familial or romantic relationships.

“I have spent more time with him than them. Do you know what I mean? And I don't know why it does it does a…”

Guest · 01:30

“There's a type of intimacy I have with my bandmates that I'm never going to have with my wife.”

Guest · 02:30
#band dynamics#family#emotional conflict#guilt
Story09:00

The Emotional Whiplash of Coming Home

After months on tour, returning home is emotionally jarring. The musician expects a warm welcome but instead faces the mundane reality of family life. His wife needs time to readjust, and he must relearn how to be present, not just physically but emotionally.

  • Returning home after 6–12 weeks feels disorienting and numb.
  • Family members need time to readjust to the musician's presence.
  • Expectations of immediate reconnection often clash with reality.
  • The 'hero's return' fantasy is replaced by domestic responsibilities.
  • Emotional compartmentalization is necessary to survive the cycle.

“She goes, 'Aaron, give me a couple days to like get used to having you here.'”

Guest · 09:30

“You're dad and like frankly you're kind of like new dad or like absent dad that's now come back.”

Guest · 12:30
#returning home#family dynamics#emotional adjustment#touring
Story33:00

Living With Chronic Anxiety on Tour

One band member shares his decades-long struggle with anxiety, including frequent ER visits and chest pains mistaken for heart attacks. The pressure of sudden fame and constant performance exacerbated his health anxiety, which he still manages daily.

  • Anxiety began early in the band's rise to fame.
  • Frequent ER visits and medical tests were dismissed due to young age.
  • Health anxiety was inherited and amplified by family environment.
  • The pressure of touring and performance intensified symptoms.
  • He still deals with anxiety daily, though less severely.

“I've probably been to the ER 250 times in the last 20 years with anxiety.”

Guest · 33:30

“Growing up, the whole time it was like that. It was like that the whole time.”

Guest · 64:00
#anxiety#mental health#touring#health anxiety

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway145:00

Holding Success with Open Hands

One member embraces an open-handed approach to the band's success, finding peace in impermanence. He values the journey over legacy, contrasting with bandmates who hold on tighter, showing different ways to navigate fame and purpose.

  • He finds contentment in the experience, not the outcome.
  • He's ready to let go whenever the band ends.
  • This mindset contrasts with more attached bandmates.
  • It's a balance between effort and detachment.
  • The goal is to create meaning without being defined by it.

“Whenever this is ready to go, I've had more than my fill. I've been beyond blessed.”

Guest · 145:30
#mindset#success#impermanence#band dynamics