Professor Paul Bloom14 November 2019

What Do BDSM & Meditation Have In Common? - Professor Paul Bloom - #120

0Frameworks

8Insights

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 2

Myth Buster10:00

Empathy Is Not the Best Moral Guide

Contrary to popular belief, empathy is not a fair or reliable moral compass. It naturally favors people who are similar to us — in appearance, background, or proximity — leading to biased decisions. Bloom argues that true morality requires transcending empathy through rational compassion.

Empathy is strongly biased toward people in our 'in-group' — those who look like us or share our background.
People feel less empathy for those who are different, such as the homeless or people of another race.
Moral reasoning should aim to treat all lives as equally valuable, regardless of personal connection.
Empathy can corrupt fair systems, like job selection or medical triage, when personal stories override impartiality.

“The extent we can say intellectually that a middle-aged white man from my city matters just as much as somebody in sub-Saharan Africa — to…”
Paul Bloom · 11:00

#empathy#bias#morality#in-group

Myth Buster00:00

Us-vs-Them Thinking Is Natural — But Not Inevitable

Bloom argues that dividing the world into 'us' and 'them' is a deep human instinct, evident even in babies and arbitrary group experiments. But just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s good — society must actively work to overcome these biases.

Humans naturally form in-groups, even over trivial distinctions like coin flips.
This tendency is rooted in evolution and seen across cultures.
Recognizing its naturalness doesn’t excuse it — we can and should transcend it.
Laws and social norms help counteract our instinctive tribalism.

“A propensity to break the world up into us-versus-them comes natural.”
Paul Bloom · 00:30

#tribalism#bias#evolution#psychology

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take55:00

There’s No Such Thing as Not Giving a Fuck

Bloom delivers a sharp cultural observation: no one truly doesn’t care. Every behavior, even appearing indifferent, is a form of signaling. The hoodie-wearing entrepreneur isn’t ignoring norms — they’re signaling superiority over them.

All behavior communicates something about identity and values.
Claiming not to care is itself a strategic performance.
Social media amplifies this, turning every action into a statement.
True neutrality is impossible; we’re always signaling.

“There’s no such thing as not giving a fuck. There’s just signaling that you don’t give a fuck.”
Paul Bloom · 55:30

#signaling#culture#authenticity#social-media

Explainer· 3

Explainer06:00

Why Empathy Can Be Harmful — And What to Use Instead

Paul Bloom explains that empathy — defined as feeling the pain of others — can be emotionally overwhelming and morally biased, making it a poor guide for ethical decisions. Instead, he advocates for rational compassion: caring for others without absorbing their suffering, which allows for clearer, more effective help.

Empathy involves emotionally absorbing another’s pain, which can be debilitating for caregivers.
Compassion means wanting to help without feeling the other’s pain, enabling sustained support.
Empathy is biased toward people similar to us, while compassion can be extended universally.
Healthcare workers often succeed because they are low in empathy but high in compassion.

“If you have a crippling level of empathy you cannot do that. The pain of others might get to you too much.”
Paul Bloom · 07:30

“Don't get caught up in other people's pain. Instead, love them. Fill your heart with good cheer and happiness.”
Paul Bloom · 12:30

#empathy#compassion#morality#psychology

Explainer48:00

How BDSM and Meditation Both Clear the Mind

Bloom draws a surprising parallel between BDSM and meditation: both can lead to a temporary escape from self-consciousness. While meditation achieves this through focused stillness, BDSM uses intense physical sensation to 'clear the head' of intrusive thoughts and anxieties.

BDSM can create a mental state similar to meditation by overwhelming the mind with sensation.
Intense pain or fear forces full presence, wiping out self-talk and anxiety.
Activities like extreme sports or martial arts can have the same effect.
The goal in both cases is liberation from the constant noise of the self.

“The idea is that what BDSM does at a psychological level is an escape from yourself.”
Paul Bloom · 49:00

“Nothing captures one's attention more than a whip.”
Paul Bloom · 49:30

#bds#meditation#consciousness#flow

Explainer53:30

Why People Show Off Their Hardship

Bloom discusses how enduring pain — like throwing up after a CrossFit workout — isn’t just personal; it’s a form of social signaling. It communicates toughness, dedication, and belonging, echoing religious rituals and cultural displays of piety or courage.

Suffering in public can signal strength, endurance, and commitment.
This mirrors historical practices like religious asceticism or tribal rites of passage.
Modern 'hustle culture' glorifies sleep deprivation and overwork as proof of ambition.
Even rejecting the grind — like sleeping nine hours — can be a counter-signal of confidence.

“Your friend is signaling that you put in effort. It doesn’t hurt to be proud of it.”
Paul Bloom · 53:30

#signaling#suffering#culture#social-behavior

Q&A· 1

Q&A40:30

Can You Still Love Someone After They’re Gone?

When asked why people continue to love those who have passed away, Bloom reflects that loved ones live on in memory and imagination. Their presence persists not just as memories, but as active voices in our internal dialogue, shaping how we see the world.

Loved ones who have died continue to exist in our minds as imagined conversational partners.
This mental presence is more than passive memory — it’s an active part of our decision-making.
Our heads are 'populated' with people, living and dead, who influence our thoughts.
The bond transcends physical existence through psychological continuity.

“They continue to live with us. They live inside your head. It's not merely passive memories.”
Paul Bloom · 41:30

#love#grief#memory#psychology

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway43:30

Why We Seek Out Pain and Difficulty

Bloom’s upcoming book explores why humans are drawn to suffering — from spicy food to saunas to difficult projects. He argues that suffering isn’t just endured; it’s often sought because it gives life meaning, purpose, and a sense of accomplishment.

People voluntarily engage in painful experiences like hot peppers, roller coasters, and haunted houses.
Meaningful pursuits — like parenting or creative work — require struggle and the risk of failure.
Suffering is tied to value: if something was easy, it wouldn’t feel significant.
Comfort can lead to existential unease; challenge brings focus and fulfillment.

“If you told me about something you did and said it was easy-peasy, no pain at all, I’d guarantee you wouldn’t take much value from…”
Paul Bloom · 45:30

#suffering#meaning#pleasure#psychology