Sara Saffari11 September 2023

What Is It Like Trying To Date Gen Z Guys? - Sara Saffari - #679

0Frameworks

10Insights

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 1

Myth Buster17:00

Gen Z Guys Aren't Mature Yet—And That's Okay

Sara challenges the online 'moral panic' about Gen Z men being lazy and addicted to porn. Instead, she sees them as still growing up, with many prioritizing friends and fun over ambition—especially in their early 20s.

Many men aged 22–27 are still emotionally immature and focused on socializing.
She doesn’t blame them—it’s a phase many go through.
What she finds attractive is drive and motivation, regardless of career path.

“I feel like there's a lot of growing to do from the age of 22 to 27 for men.”
Sara Saffari · 17:15

#Gen Z#dating#masculinity

Hot Take· 2

Hot Take03:00

Confidence Can Upgrade Your Attractiveness

Sara argues that confidence significantly boosts physical attractiveness, potentially elevating someone from a 'six' to an 'eight' based on presence alone. She notes that online culture often hides this quality, making real-life interactions more revealing and impactful.

Confidence can dramatically enhance perceived attractiveness.
Online personas often mask true confidence levels, making face-to-face interactions more authentic.
People optimize for superficial traits like height or abs, but presence matters more.

“If someone is confident, it can make them from a six to an eight depending on how they carry themselves.”
Sara Saffari · 03:20

#confidence#dating#online dating

Hot Take55:00

Is OnlyFans Really Empowering?

Sara questions the narrative that OnlyFans is inherently empowering for women. While she doesn’t judge those who use it, she finds it hard to reconcile with true empowerment when the content relies on sexualization and transactional interactions.

She doesn’t oppose women using OnlyFans but questions the empowerment claim.
Many creators rely on virtual assistants to manage fan interactions.
The platform encourages self-objectification for minimal financial return.

“I struggle to see how getting men's money for nudity priced at a cheeseburger is empowering.”
Sara Saffari · 59:10

#OnlyFans#feminism#sexuality

Explainer· 1

Explainer00:00

What the 'Muscle Mommy' Movement Really Means

Sara Saffari discusses the emerging 'muscle mommy' trend, originally a term used by men online to describe fit women, which has now been embraced by women themselves at fitness events. It reflects a cultural shift where strength and athleticism in women are being celebrated more openly.

The term 'muscle mommy' started as a male-driven comment on social media but is now being reclaimed by women.
At recent fitness events, women are calling each other 'muscle mommies' in a positive, empowering way.
It marks a shift from past beauty ideals like 'thigh gaps' toward valuing physical strength and fitness.

“I haven't heard women addressing women as muscle mommies... I thought it was more of a joking, flirty thing that guys comment on Instagram.”
Sara Saffari · 00:45

#fitness culture#body image#Gen Z trends

Story· 2

Story22:00

The Confusing Pressure on Young Women Today

Sara reflects on how social media distorts young women’s sense of identity, pushing them toward extremes like being a 'trad wife' or a 'sex-positive party girl.' With few authentic role models, it’s hard to know what kind of femininity to embrace.

Social media promotes unrealistic or contradictory ideals of femininity.
Many influencers who claim to be body-positive or empowering are revealed to be hypocritical.
Young women are left confused about what values to follow.

“It's confusing for sure... the people you think are the most understanding turn out to be the shittiest.”
Sara Saffari · 23:45

#femininity#social media#identity

Story37:00

How the Gym Saved Her Mental Health

Sara shares her personal journey from struggling with mental health and disordered eating—eating only a dollar-menu burger daily—to finding purpose and confidence through fitness. The gym became her sanctuary.

At her lowest, she weighed 100 pounds and felt insecure and depressed.
She started going to the gym during the pandemic as a way out of low energy and sadness.
Fitness became a source of joy and self-improvement, not just aesthetics.

“I was tired of feeling tired... I had nothing better to do, might as well hit the gym.”
Sara Saffari · 38:20

#mental health#fitness journey#recovery

Q&A· 2

Q&A14:30

Why Fame Makes Dating Harder

When asked about dating as a rising influencer, Sara admits that her visibility complicates relationships. People may not understand her commitments, and public attention—like fans asking for photos—adds pressure to everyday outings.

Dating is harder because partners may not understand her career demands.
Public events and travel for business can be misinterpreted as socializing or partying.
Even casual dates can become public moments if fans approach them.

“It's all over Snapchat... If you go for dinner with somebody, the difficulties increased exponentially.”
Sara Saffari · 14:50

#dating#influencer life#fame

Q&A45:00

Why Women Are Paid Less Than Men in Influencer Marketing

Sara acknowledges that female influencers often earn less than male counterparts with similar or lower engagement. She attributes this to systemic undervaluation and the ease with which brands can 'finesse' women in negotiations.

Women in fitness are often paid less than men despite higher engagement.
Brands may exploit younger female influencers who lack negotiation experience.
She’s heard stories of male influencers with fewer followers getting better deals.

“I know a guy is below her on engagement, following everything, and he's getting paid more.”
Sara Saffari · 45:50

#influencer economy#gender pay gap#marketing

Takeaway· 2

Takeaway19:30

Drive and Ambition Are the Sexiest Traits

Sara emphasizes that motivation—whether in fitness, a trade, or a career—is one of the most attractive qualities in a partner. She values competence and purpose over superficial traits.

Drive and ambition are more attractive than looks or status.
Competence in any field—like plumbing or fitness—shows dedication.
Admiring your partner deepens attraction and emotional connection.

“One of the biggest turn-ons or pluses a guy can have is being motivated or dedicated to something.”
Sara Saffari · 19:45

#attraction#relationships#motivation

Takeaway42:00

Sleep Is Non-Negotiable for Muscle Growth

Sara stresses that sleep is critical for physical recovery and muscle growth. She prioritizes 8–10 hours nightly, calling it a strategic part of her fitness routine, not just a luxury.

She sleeps 8–10 hours per night consistently.
Sleep is when muscle recovery and growth happen.
Prioritizing rest is as important as training intensity.

“Sleep matters guys. Sleep matters.”
Sara Saffari · 42:25

#sleep#fitness#recovery