MModern Wisdom
← All episodes
George TheTinMen24 July 2023

Why Do The Left Not Care About Men’s Problems? - George TheTinMen - #658

0Frameworks
20Insights

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 4

Myth Buster11:00

Male Suicide Isn't Mainly a Mental Health Problem

Citing an APPG (All-Party Parliamentary Group) report on men and boys, George argues male suicide is better understood as a rational, solution-based response to a buildup of external stresses — job loss, debt, family court, domestic violence — rather than purely a mental illness that talking alone resolves.

  • APPG report: suicide is 'largely the outcome of a range of external issues or personal stresses,' not just mental illness
  • Many men who attempt suicide don't identify themselves as having a mental health problem
  • 3 million men in the UK are victims of domestic violence; 11% of them will attempt suicide
  • Psychologist Martin Seager links 20% of UK suicides to child custody and family court battles

Suicide is a choice made by men when these stresses reach a critical level and the stress bucket overflows. It is not the result of…

George · 23:30
#suicide#mental-health#family-court
Myth Buster16:00

Men Get Longer Sentences Than Women for the Same Crime

George cites research showing a significant sentencing gap by sex in both the US and UK — and that it compounds with racial sentencing bias, meaning black men face the largest disparity of all.

  • US research (Prof. Sonja Starr): women are twice as likely to avoid prison for the same crime; when sentenced, men get 63% longer sentences
  • UK Ministry of Justice report: men are 88% more likely to be sentenced to prison under similar criminal circumstances
  • Black Americans get roughly 10% longer sentences than white Americans for the same crime
  • Combined, black men face a compounded sentencing disparity of roughly 63% plus 10%

If you're black in America you'll get 10% longer, men get 63% longer, and if you're a black man it's 63 plus 10 — you've…

George · 16:30
#criminal-justice#sentencing#intersectionality
Myth Buster57:30

The Gender Pay Gap Is Really a Motherhood Penalty

George reframes the gender pay gap as a gap between mothers and fathers rather than men and women broadly — pay tracks nearly identically until a child arrives, after which mothers take longer leave and more often return part-time. He argues the fix is equalizing parental leave.

  • Men's and women's salaries track together until a child arrives, then diverge
  • Mothers get longer maternity leave than fathers get paternity leave in the UK, and often return part-time or not at all
  • George reframes the question from 'why are women paid less' to 'when are women paid less' — the answer is after becoming mothers
  • Proposed fix: equal paid parental leave for fathers so mothers can return to work and their careers sooner

It's not a gap between men and women, it's a gap between mothers and fathers.

George · 58:00
#pay-gap#parenting#economics
Myth Buster74:30

91% of Men Who Died by Suicide Had Already Sought Help

George cites a University of Manchester study on middle-aged male suicide showing the 'just get men to talk' narrative is incomplete — the overwhelming majority had already talked to a professional, and most were assessed as low risk shortly before their death, pointing to a systemic failure to correctly read male distress.

  • University of Manchester study: 91% of middle-aged men who died by suicide had sought help; 30% had sought help in the week before their death
  • Of those seen by a clinician, 80% were deemed low or no risk
  • George links this to the psychology profession being roughly 85% female, suggesting interventions may be shaped less effectively for men
  • References Richard Reeves' stat: four times more female fighter pilots in the US Air Force than male kindergarten teachers

You're telling men to talk, but 91% of men who died by suicide did talk, and they still died.

George · 75:00
#suicide#mental-health#research

Hot Take· 3

Hot Take03:00

Why Even Saying 'Pro-Men' Makes People Wince

George argues that men's advocates are forced into a ritual apology before they can speak — acknowledging women and girls first — which he says undermines the point before it's even made. He insists men and boys deserve a conversation in their own right, not merely as a byproduct of helping women.

  • Advocates feel pressure to 'kiss the ring' and preface any point about men with a disclaimer about caring for women
  • George cites Richard Reeves doing this routinely in his own talks
  • George refuses to keep re-proving he cares about women throughout the podcast
  • Argues men/boys issues deserve to stand on their own, not just as an indirect benefit to women

Whenever we have these discussions it always starts with some sort of prospective apology... you always have to kiss the ring.

George · 03:30
#mens-advocacy#politics#left-wing
Hot Take08:00

Is the Left Creating the Very Problem It Claims to Solve?

George's most provocative claim: progressive fear-mongering rhetoric that paints men as inherently dangerous directly feeds the cultural fear that gets black men killed by police, since it's police fear of men — especially black men — that triggers shootings.

  • Left-leaning spaces often push a 'men are dangerous, keep your distance' narrative
  • George argues this cultural fear-mongering disproportionately harms black men when police act on that fear
  • Frames it as the left inadvertently causing the outcome it condemns

Are the left creating the very problem they claim to want to end by explicitly fear-mongering around men?

George · 08:30
#politics#police-violence#left-wing#hot-take
Hot Take81:30

Pitching a 'Third Wave' of the Manosphere

Chris and George map two prior waves of men's dating and masculinity content — pickup artistry (Mystery, Neil Strauss) and the post-#MeToo 'red pill' wave (Andrew Tate, Fresh & Fit) — and propose a third wave that isn't adversarial toward women, integrates emotional depth with masculine traits, and moves beyond surface-level 'men should talk' advice into actually acting on what men say.

  • First wave: pickup artistry (Mystery, Neil Strauss, negging, day game)
  • Second wave, post-#MeToo: red pill culture — alphas/betas, Andrew Tate, Fresh & Fit
  • Proposed third wave: non-adversarial, integrates masculinity with emotional expression and follow-through ('listen, ask, act')
  • Names Hamza, David Buss, Richard Reeves, and John Barry as examples pointing in the positive-sum direction

The third wave manosphere would not see women as the enemy — it would be trying to integrate the positive elements of masculinity, allowing men…

George · 82:30
#manosphere#masculinity#hot-take

Explainer· 8

Explainer05:30

Police Violence Is a Men's Issue Nobody Names

George breaks down the George Floyd-era police brutality data to show it is overwhelmingly a male issue that gets recoded purely as racial. He cites the Washington Post's Fatal Force database showing 244 black men versus 2 black women killed by police in 2020, arguing the male disparity dwarfs the racial one yet goes unmentioned.

  • Washington Post 'Fatal Force' database: 244 black men vs 2 black women killed by police in 2020
  • Roughly 95-96% of Americans killed by police are men
  • Black Americans are about 3.5x more likely to be killed by police than white Americans (population-normalized) — a real disparity, but smaller than the male/female one
  • George and Chris discuss men being roughly 20x more likely to be killed by police than women

If you deny police brutality as a men's issue, I feel like that's even worse than denying it as a black issue — it is…

George · 06:30
#police-violence#blm#intersectionality#race
Explainer14:30

The 'Secret' Family Court System Failing Fathers

George explains that UK family courts operate with almost no public oversight, making it hard to even document how fathers are treated when they lose custody. He argues losing a child in a corrupt system is a bigger, under-discussed driver of male distress than the issues that usually dominate public debate.

  • Family court proceedings are largely secret with very little press access or oversight
  • George is deliberately cautious about overstating claims, noting it's an area he's still researching
  • Frames child custody loss as one of the most heartbreaking, under-discussed causes of male distress

We don't know because we're not allowed to know — our family court's a secret, the secret family court.

George · 15:00
#family-court#fatherhood#divorce
Explainer17:30

How 'Gay' Erases That It Was Almost Always Gay Men

George uses the criminalization of homosexuality in the UK and Nazi Germany to expose a blind spot in how intersectionality gets applied — it was overwhelmingly gay men, not lesbians, who were imprisoned, castrated, and sent to concentration camps, yet modern retellings rarely name the male-specific targeting.

  • In the UK it was illegal to be a gay man (hard labor, chemical castration); lesbianism, while not tolerated, wasn't criminalized the same way
  • Nazi concentration camp deportations for homosexuality were overwhelmingly of gay men
  • George notes popular retellings show photos of gay men but avoid naming them specifically as men
  • Argues intersectionality is applied selectively — added when it maximizes victim status, dropped when the category is 'men'

They're all men — why are you so afraid to say gay men? The intersection of masculinity and homosexuality is a really important point to…

George · 19:00
#intersectionality#lgbtq#history
Explainer46:00

'Gamma Bias': How Headlines Erase Men When They're Victims

George details psychologist John Barry's concept of gamma bias — media and public discourse highlight male privilege when men are advantaged but erase male identity when men are victims. He gives concrete UK examples: knife-crime victims reported as 'teenagers' who were all boys, strip-searched children who were 95% boys, and 9/11 firefighter deaths never described with the gendered term 'firemen.'

  • London's worst year for teen knife deaths: every single victim was a boy or young man, reported simply as 'teenagers'
  • A police strip-search investigation found 95% of children strip-searched (some as young as 8) were boys, mostly black boys, rarely reported by sex
  • All roughly 340 firefighters who died on 9/11 were men, yet coverage says 'firefighters,' never 'firemen'
  • A young man who died saving a woman from the Thames the week after Sarah Everard's murder received no headlines about male heroism

If it was just women, that would be headline news. When it happens to men and boys, we erase it.

George · 48:00

It upsets me that maleness, masculinity, is often defined by sacrifice and the loss of life.

George · 49:30
#media-bias#gamma-bias#gender
Explainer43:00

The Domestic Violence Research the Left Won't Engage With

George cites Professor Murray Straus, who founded the field of family violence research, whose meta-analysis of 200 surveys over 30 years found men and women abuse each other at roughly equal rates — a finding George says advocates routinely refuse to discuss, alongside the fact that only about 1% of UK domestic violence refuge spaces serve male victims despite men being roughly one in three victims.

  • Murray Straus's meta-analysis of 200 surveys across 30 years found domestic violence is not strongly gendered — abuse rates are roughly equal
  • Even conservative estimates put men at one in three domestic violence victims
  • Only about 1% of UK domestic violence refuge spaces are available to men
  • Domestic violence framed solely through 'patriarchal control' is, per George, only one of roughly three dozen contributing factors

He literally invented the instruments we now use to study domestic violence, and he's saying it's not a gendered issue — men and women abuse…

George · 43:30

If I were to say there was a group of survivors who make up one in three victims and they are systematically shut out of…

George · 33:00
#domestic-violence#research#gender
Explainer60:00

The Harvard Uber Study That Killed the Discrimination Explanation

George cites what he calls the largest-ever study on the pay gap, using fully-automated Uber driver pay to rule out human discrimination. It found the gap was explained by behavior: men drove riskier late-night/early-morning shifts, stayed on the platform longer gaining experience, and — the single biggest factor at 50% of the gap — drove faster.

  • Harvard's Uber driver study is described as the largest study ever done on the pay gap
  • Uber pay is fully automated, ruling out human bias as an explanation
  • Gap explained by: men working less desirable shift times, staying on the platform longer, and driving faster (50% of the gap)
  • Controlling for job, experience, and hours narrows the pay gap to about 99 cents on the dollar

That shows it wasn't discrimination causing the pay gap in Uber — it was just different types of behavior.

George · 61:00
#pay-gap#research#economics
Explainer70:30

'Fragile Masculinity' vs. Products for Women — Same Joke, Different Target

Borrowing an idea from a trans woman's blog, George points out a double standard in how gendered marketing gets mocked: pink razors or 'Bic for Her' pens get laughed at as a corporate gimmick, but when a product is marketed to men, the men themselves get mocked as 'fragile' rather than the product.

  • Society blames the product or company when items are marketed to women (e.g., Bic for Her, pink razors)
  • Society blames the men themselves as 'fragile' when products are marketed to men (e.g., blue razors, men's snack bars)
  • George credits the framing to a blog by a trans woman who experienced both sides of the marketing divide

We blame the products when they're gendered to women, but we blame the man when they're gendered to men.

George · 71:30
#fragile-masculinity#marketing#gender
Explainer78:00

The Bullied Boy Behind the 'Toxic' Man

George cites a University of Cambridge study on men's violent fantasies showing 97% of the most bullied boys in school went on to report violent fantasies as adults — suggesting these fantasies function as a coping mechanism developed from childhood bullying rather than simple evidence of inherent toxic masculinity.

  • University of Cambridge study on men's violent fantasies
  • 97% of the most bullied boys in school later reported violent fantasies in adulthood
  • Researchers hypothesize the fantasies are a coping mechanism developed to deal with anticipated future violence
  • George's takeaway: look past the 'toxic' label to the bullied boy underneath

I would encourage people to not see the man who is fantasizing about violence, and instead see the bullied boy behind him.

George · 79:00
#bullying#masculinity#research

Story· 4

Story00:00

Why a Progressive Went All-In on Men's Advocacy

George explains how his career in content creation collided with his time in progressive left-leaning political spaces, where he noticed reluctance to engage in good faith with men's and boys' issues. Shocked by the data he encountered on suicide, homelessness, and violence, he started a private phone folder of information that eventually became the Tin Men Instagram account.

  • George has worked in the creative industry for about 13 years
  • Started because progressive spaces wouldn't engage in good faith on men's issues
  • Originally a private 'under the table' phone reference of data on suicide, domestic violence, violent crime, homelessness, drug addiction
  • Grew organically after friends followed, then 'the wrong people' found it and it kept growing

I saw an area of advocacy — men and boys advocacy, men's right advocacy especially — is experiencing what I think is a massive brand…

George · 01:00
#mens-advocacy#content-creation#origin-story
Story09:30

Called 'Tone Deaf' a Week After a Friend Begged Men to Talk

George recounts losing friends over his advocacy, including one who — a week after sending a heartfelt group message urging men to open up following a friend's suicide — called George 'tone deaf' for posting about male sexual violence statistics.

  • A friend lost a flatmate to suicide and sent a group message encouraging men to open up
  • The following week that same friend castigated George for posting about male rape statistics in America
  • George notes a boy sexually abused in adolescence is 10x more likely to attempt suicide, linking the two topics

Mate, do you realize that a boy who has been sexually abused in adolescence, when he grows up, is 10 times more likely to attempt…

George · 10:30
#suicide#sexual-violence#friendship#personal-story
Story27:30

The Andrew Tate Interview George Recorded But Never Released

George reveals he recorded a podcast with Andrew Tate roughly three years ago, before Tate's fame exploded, and chose not to release it even at the height of Tate's popularity because doing so felt exploitative — Tate made claims during a period of 'unknowns' that have since been disproven.

  • Interview recorded about three years before Tate's peak fame, when Tate was relatively unknown
  • George chose not to release it later because many of Tate's claims from that era can now be disproven
  • Instagram deleted a related reel that featured only two seconds of Tate saying hello, illustrating how tightly platforms police this content
  • George states he doesn't support or like Andrew Tate personally

It's a bad thing to do to someone who was making claims when there was a lot of unknowns and now there are knowns, and…

George · 28:30
#andrew-tate#content-creation#media-ethics
Story72:00

The Journalist Who Lived as a Man for 18 Months

George recounts the story of Nora Vincent, author of 'Inside Man,' a gay woman who lived disguised as a man for 18 months to understand the male experience, found it psychologically difficult enough to require psychiatric care, and later died by suicide — though George is careful to note her death was tied to gender dysphoria from the experiment, not simply proof that 'being a man is hard.'

  • Nora Vincent lived as a man for roughly 18 months and documented it in a book
  • She had to stop the experiment early and check herself into psychiatric care
  • She died by suicide roughly a year before this recording
  • George cautions against politicizing her death; it was tied to gender dysphoria from the experiment, not simply male hardship
  • Her lesson: neither sex fully understands the other's experience, so listening in good faith is essential

As a woman, I don't know what it's like to be a man. We don't know.

George · 73:00
#gender#empathy#personal-story

Tool· 1

Tool85:30

Book Rec: Factfulness by Hans Rosling

George recommends Hans Rosling's 'Factfulness,' using its Gapminder quiz — where people scored worse than random guessing, and worse than the same quiz given to zoo animals via bananas — to illustrate how humans systematically overestimate how dangerous and dramatic the world is because media coverage skews toward the most extreme, unrepresentative stories.

  • Book: 'Factfulness' by Hans Rosling, described as a world-leading professor of global health
  • Rosling's Gapminder test: 12 multiple-choice questions on global trends where most people scored worse than random guessing
  • George's riff: if the quiz answers were written on bananas and thrown to zoo monkeys, the monkeys would outscore humans
  • Applied to the episode's theme: the most egregious, extreme stories dominate online discourse and distort perception of gender issues

If I took this quiz to the zoo and wrote the answers on bananas and threw them into the cage, the monkeys would do better…

George · 87:30
#book-recommendation#media-literacy#worldview