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Dr Khandis Blake06 February 2023

Why Do Women Take Sexy Selfies? - Dr Khandis Blake - #586

0Frameworks
21Insights

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 3

Myth Buster00:00

Sexy Selfies Are Status-Seeking, Not Patriarchy

Blake's research challenges the dominant theory that women take sexy selfies because patriarchal pressure makes them self-objectify. Her data instead shows women use beautification strategically to compete for status in social hierarchies — an agentic, assertive behavior rather than something done to them.

  • Dominant academic theory: gender oppression leads women to value their bodies over other qualities (self-objectification)
  • Blake argues this framing does women a disservice by ignoring how strategic and competitive the behavior actually is
  • Studies across multiple datasets show women take sexy selfies to seek status in social hierarchies
  • Framed as agentic and assertive, not purely a product of patriarchal control

Sexualization is not actually manifesting from this kind of patriarchal pressure where men force women to beautify. It's actually manifesting as a result of a…

Khandis Blake · 00:00

It didn't seem to me to be something that was done to women, but very much something that women were owning and using quite strategically.

Khandis Blake · 01:30
#evolutionary-psychology#status#social-media#gender
Myth Buster07:00

Income Inequality, Not Gender Inequality, Drives Sexualization

Using a dataset of 3 billion geolocated tweets spanning 10 years and every country, Blake's team found sexy selfies are more common in economically unequal places. Crucially, once income inequality was controlled for, the apparent link to gender inequality (patriarchal power) disappeared entirely.

  • Analysis platform covers 3 billion geolocated tweets across 10 years and every country
  • Sexy selfies correlate with higher economic (income) inequality
  • An initial gender-inequality effect vanished once income inequality was included in the model
  • Reframes sexualization as status-seeking tied to economics, not patriarchal control

Once you put income inequality into that analysis, the gender inequality effect disappears... it's linking beautification with status seeking and not with patriarchy.

Khandis Blake · 09:00
#inequality#big-data#social-media#status
Myth Buster22:30

Local Sex Ratio Doesn't Predict Sexy Selfies (Surprisingly)

Contrary to what sex-ratio theory would predict, Blake found no relationship between the local ratio of men to women and women's beautification behavior — even in an experiment that fabricated infographics and news stories about local dating-pool scarcity to prime participants.

  • No correlation between real-world local sex ratio and sexy-selfie prevalence
  • A follow-up experiment used fake infographics/news about local 'man drought' or 'woman drought' — still no effect
  • Sex-ratio effects tend to be stronger for men than women, possibly because male reproductive strategy favors quantity, female favors quality

We measured women's interest in physical appearance and using physical appearance to get ahead, and we found no effect there either.

Khandis Blake · 24:00
#sex-ratio#mating-markets#experiment

Hot Take· 4

Hot Take51:30

Williamson's Sedation Hypothesis: Porn and Video Games as the Release Valve

Chris presents his own theory, credited to Vincent Harinam and William Costello, that despite skyrocketing male sexlessness, incel-related violence hasn't scaled proportionally because porn and video games are 'sedating' young men's status-seeking and sexual frustration with a diluted substitute.

  • Male sexlessness roughly tripled (8% to 28%, ages 18-30) between 2008-2018, yet violent incel incidents stayed rare
  • Nearly a third of unemployed men aged 18-30 play over 2,000 hours of video games a year, many while on drugs
  • Theory: porn (referencing Diana Fleischman's 'uncanny vulvas') and video games substitute for status and dopamine cues tied to reproduction

My current broscience belief is that men are being sedated out of their status seeking and sexual frustration behavior with porn and video games.

Chris Williamson · 52:30
#incels#porn#video-games#hot-take
Hot Take63:30

Men Are Screwed as a Group, Women Are Screwed as Individuals

Chris floats his own theory that individual men can relatively easily raise their mate value through gym, clothes, and career over a couple of years, while individual women face a harder ceiling after their physical peak — but as a group, women's rising education and income give them a brighter collective outlook than men.

  • Chris argues any man can meaningfully raise his mate value with focused effort over a couple of years
  • Women face more of a hard ceiling tied to physical peak, with fewer routes to quickly change mate value
  • As a group, Chris argues women have a brighter outlook because they can be 'rich and educated while alone'
  • Blake partially pushes back, noting both sexes have distinct advantages and disadvantages

I think men are more screwed as a group but have it better individually, and women are more screwed individually but have it better as…

Chris Williamson · 63:30
#mate-value#gender-differences#hot-take
Hot Take69:00

Why Mainstream Dating Advice for Women Is Worse Than the Manosphere's

Blake argues that while male-targeted dating advice from certain corners of the internet is bad, it's mostly just useless — whereas mainstream women's outlets like Cosmopolitan and Elle push genuinely harmful advice, such as teaching women to disconnect emotionally from sex to avoid 'catching feelings.'

  • Manosphere-style advice for men is bad but largely harmless and useless
  • Mainstream women's magazines carry more damaging advice due to their broad reach and perceived credibility
  • Chris cites articles teaching women to have sex without 'catching feelings' as framing emotional detachment as freedom

If girls want to get bad advice, they just need to go to the newsagent... Elle and Cosmopolitan will happily write articles teaching women how…

Chris Williamson · 70:00

The mainstream dating advice for women and men is bad, but for men it's not harmful, it's just useless. For women it's genuinely harmful.

Khandis Blake · 70:30
#dating-advice#media#gender
Hot Take75:30

What Gender Studies Gets Wrong: Oppressors, Victims, and Individuals

Blake critiques gender studies for framing sexual politics as a one-directional victim/oppressor narrative and for neglecting evolutionary biology's insight that individuals act in their own interest rather than their group's — meaning belonging to a supposedly advantaged group doesn't guarantee a better individual life.

  • Gender studies tends to frame issues as a one-directional oppressor vs. oppressed narrative
  • This ignores that individuals within a supposedly advantaged group can still be personally worse off
  • Evolutionary biology shows individuals act in their own interest, not their group's interest
  • Class can be a bigger determinant of individual outcomes than sex or race alone

Individuals do not act in the best interests of their group. They act in the best interest of themselves.

Khandis Blake · 76:00
#gender-studies#class#evolutionary-biology

Explainer· 8

Explainer03:30

The 'Pretty Privilege' Halo Effect Is Real

Blake explains that attractive people get real-world material benefits — they're hired more often, earn 10-15% higher wages, and are wrongly assumed to be smarter and more competent. This bias, separate from mate-seeking, makes investing in appearance a genuinely rational strategy.

  • Attractive people are more likely to get hired and receive job offers
  • Wage premium of roughly 10-15% higher earnings for attractive people
  • People wrongly assume attractive people are smarter, though they aren't
  • This halo effect alone makes beauty investment a smart status move, independent of mating

More attractive people, they're more likely to get hired, they're more likely to get job offers, they have higher earning potential in general. It's something…

Khandis Blake · 03:30
#attractiveness-bias#workplace#status
Explainer04:30

Why Men Don't Post as Many Sexy Selfies

Blake explains that attractiveness-bias effects are only sometimes stronger for women, but men historically have alternate routes to status — chiefly higher average earnings — that make beauty investment less necessary for them than for women.

  • Roughly a third of attractiveness-bias effects are stronger for women; two-thirds show no sex difference
  • In most countries men earn more than women, giving men an alternate path to status
  • At a population level, men weight mate attractiveness more; women weight mate status more
  • Women historically relied more on beauty because they held less independent wealth

Men can tend to have other ways of achieving status... in most cultures, the vast majority of them, men earn more than women do. Earning…

Khandis Blake · 05:30
#mate-preferences#status#gender-differences
Explainer18:00

Getting 'Hot-Date Ready' Makes Women More Assertive

In a lab study, women prepped for a hot date (makeup, hair tools, an outfit) versus prepped to hang out with friends, then took both explicit self-report and implicit reaction-time tests of assertiveness. Women in the hot-date condition rated themselves as more assertive and also scored higher on the harder-to-fake implicit measure.

  • Women brought their own beautification kit and had 20-30 minutes to prepare privately
  • Used both self-report and implicit association (reaction-time) tests, the latter difficult to fake
  • Hot-date condition women were both explicitly and implicitly more assertive afterward
  • Suggests strategic beautification has a real psychological, agency-boosting effect

Women who were in the hot date condition, who'd had to put on the clothes and put on the makeup... felt more assertive. They rated…

Khandis Blake · 21:30
#assertiveness#beauty#lab-study#psychology
Explainer29:00

Simulation Study: Poor Men and Rich Women Both Lose at Pairing

Blake ran a large mathematical simulation with collaborators Rob Brooks and Lutz Fromhage — roughly a million simulated actors across 100 runs — assigning income and gender to test pairing success under hypergyny. Two groups consistently do worst at pairing regardless of personal qualities: poorer men and richer women.

  • Simulation modeled ~1 million actors across 100 runs, varying income and gender inequality
  • Poorer men and richer women are structurally disadvantaged at pairing, independent of personal traits
  • Gender equality worsens pairing odds for both groups; the old gender-unequal status quo helped them
  • Rising income inequality makes pairing especially worse for poorer men

There are consistently these groups in society that are disadvantaged in terms of pairing success... those two groups of people, the first is poorer men...…

Khandis Blake · 32:30
#hypergamy#simulation#mating-markets#inequality
Explainer45:00

Blocked Mating Markets Fuel Terrorism and War

Blake connects disrupted mating markets to serious downstream effects: incel populations show elevated rates of mental health problems, and researchers Valerie Hudson and Rose McDermott have linked large populations of unmarriageable young men in polygynous, bride-price societies to war, violence, and recruitment into groups like the Taliban.

  • Incels show roughly double the population rate of neurodivergence, depression and anxiety
  • In polygynous, bride-price societies, only one son per family (often the eldest) can typically afford to marry
  • Groups like the Taliban exploit this by offering wives and money in exchange for joining insurgencies
  • Political scientists Valerie Hudson (Texas A&M) and Rose McDermott (Brown) study this dynamic

A group like the Taliban comes along and says... we're going to get women out of education and we're going to give you a wife…

Khandis Blake · 48:30
#incels#international-security#mating-markets#polygyny
Explainer55:00

Violent Video Games as Practice for Lost Dominance

Blake describes research with evolutionary biologist Mike Kasumovic showing violent video games can boost men's felt mate value, but losing to a woman in-game makes men notably more aggressive than losing to a man — Kasumovic frames gaming as a space where men practice dominance they struggle to assert offline.

  • Playing violent video games can increase men's felt masculinity and mate value
  • Losing a game to a woman triggers more aggression and hostility than losing to a man
  • Kasumovic's theory: men struggling with dominance offline use gaming to practice it online

If you lose a video game to a woman and you're a guy, you're super unhappy about it. You're more aggressive, you're more of a…

Khandis Blake · 55:30
#video-games#dominance#masculinity
Explainer57:00

Online Misogyny Predicts Next Year's Domestic Violence

Blake's team found income inequality raises incel ideology, and a narrowing gender pay gap also correlates with more incel ideology. Critically, rising misogynistic social media chatter in a region predicts a rise in domestic and family violence there the following year — a lag effect she suggests could serve as an early-warning signal for policy.

  • Income inequality increases the prevalence of incel ideology
  • A narrowing gender pay gap is also associated with more incel ideology
  • Rising misogynistic social media sentiment in one year predicts more domestic/family violence the next year
  • Proposed as a possible early-warning signal for directing policy resources

If the social media chatter in a particular region becomes more misogynistic, what you find is that you start to see more domestic and family…

Khandis Blake · 58:00
#misogyny#domestic-violence#incels#policy
Explainer60:00

Incels Have Lower Standards, Not Higher Ones

Chris shares unpublished findings from William Costello: incels actually report lower minimum mate preferences than non-incel men of similar mate value, disproving the idea that they fail because their standards are too high. Both incels and non-incels also overestimate how much women value looks and money, while underestimating kindness, intelligence, and humor.

  • Incels have lower minimum mate preferences than non-incel men of similar mate value
  • Both incels and non-incels overestimate women's stated preference for looks and wealth
  • Both groups underestimate how much women say they value kindness, intelligence, and humor
  • Feeds into the self-defeating 'black pill' belief that no effort will work

Incels and non-incels overestimate the importance that women say they place on financial resources and physical attractiveness, but underestimate kindness, intelligence, and humor.

Chris Williamson · 60:30
#incels#mate-preferences#research

Story· 4

Story15:00

The Two Guys With Impossibly Low Voices

Chris relays a story David Buss told him: while in a supermarket queue, Buss heard two voices so low he expected to find jazz singers or old men with cigars — instead finding two young men competing to auditorily signal dominance to an attractive woman standing between them.

  • Anecdote illustrates vocal pitch as a real-time male dominance display during mate competition
  • Chris speculates men may lower their vocal pitch more in economically unequal environments
  • Used as a segue into whether inequality also affects other competitive mating signals

It was a case that these two guys were trying to auditorily signal dominance to this girl, look at how big my vocal folds are,…

Chris Williamson · 16:00
#mate-competition#vocal-pitch#anecdote
Story43:30

The $240K Attractiveness Gap Between Job Titles

Chris cites a stat from Seth Stephens-Davidowitz's book Don't Trust Your Gut: a hospitality worker earning $300k rates as attractive as a firefighter or lawyer earning $60k, showing job-title prestige can substitute for a $240k income gap in perceived mate value — with big caveats around who's actually the primary breadwinner.

  • Job-title prestige can substitute for a large income gap in attractiveness ratings
  • Relationships where the woman contributes over 80% of household income are twice as likely to end in divorce
  • Women are roughly three times more likely than men to say they value a partner's resource acquisition

A man who works in hospitality and earns $300,000 a year is the same level of attractiveness as a firefighter or a lawyer that earns…

Chris Williamson · 43:30
#income#attractiveness#relationships#divorce
Story49:30

How Medieval Portugal Exported Its Surplus Young Men

Chris recounts how medieval Portugal, where largely only first sons could secure a wife, shipped younger sons off on galleon voyages to explore and pirate the New World — an early historical example of using exploration as a pressure-release valve for frustrated young men.

  • Only first sons could typically marry and inherit in this system
  • Younger sons were sent on exploration and piracy voyages as an outlet
  • Framed as a historical precedent for managing 'young male syndrome'

They literally exported every man that wasn't the first son in a desperate attempt to try and tune down this young male syndrome.

Chris Williamson · 50:00
#history#young-male-syndrome#anecdote
Story71:00

From Gender Studies to Evolutionary Psychology

Blake describes discovering evolutionary psychology by accident at a PhD summer school workshop and being furious that her entire gender studies degree never mentioned the framework, despite it directly bearing on the sexual-politics questions she cared about. She resolved from then on to combine biological and sociocultural frameworks rather than pick a single camp.

  • Blake's family were fashion models, sparking her early interest in beauty and appearance
  • She discovered evolutionary psychology in the first week of her PhD at an unrelated summer school workshop
  • She was angered that her gender studies degree never exposed her to the framework
  • She committed to combining nature and nurture frameworks rather than sitting in one academic camp

I was pissed off that I'd spent an entire gender studies degree looking at it and no one had told me about it.

Khandis Blake · 72:00
#academia#evolutionary-psychology#gender-studies#biography

Q&A· 1

Q&A38:00

Hypergamy Is Relaxing for Education, Not for Income

Asked whether the mating crisis will ease, Blake says women's preference for more-educated male partners has relaxed as women's own education rose, but the preference for a higher-earning partner has not — and is unlikely to, as long as gender income inequality persists.

  • Women's preference for more-educated partners has weakened as female education has risen
  • Preference for higher-earning partners remains strong
  • As long as gender pay inequality exists, it creates a built-in incentive for women to pair up the income ladder

I think hypergyny may relax to some extent, and it tends to have done so in terms of education... The income one is still a…

Khandis Blake · 38:00
#hypergamy#education#income-inequality

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway39:30

How to Actually Help Disadvantaged Men

Blake argues that telling women to be less educated is both wrong and politically unworkable, while telling struggling men to 'toughen up' ignores real structural disadvantage. Her proposed levers are directly reducing income inequality and helping men build non-financial relationship value, such as parenting skills.

  • Arguing for less-educated women is not a fair or workable solution
  • Dismissing disadvantaged men's grievances is equally wrong
  • Reducing income inequality would ease male mate-competition pressure
  • Training men in parenting could offer an alternative form of relationship value beyond income

To then ignore this group of men and say, 'Oh, well, you should just toughen up,' is absolutely the wrong thing to do.

Khandis Blake · 39:30
#policy#men#income-inequality#solutions