Call Out the Elephant
Name your youth first, then state your worth and demand equal respect
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 58%
The tactic disarms age-based dismissal by naming it before it can operate silently. Rather than absorbing patronising treatment and resenting it, you surface the 'elephant in the room' at the top of the conversation: you acknowledge that you are young, immediately point to demonstrable results, extend respect to the other party, and explicitly ask for the same in return. The mechanism works because bias is most powerful when unspoken; once named openly, the other party can no longer act on it without appearing to admit prejudice. The candour also reads as a confidence signal, standing on principle and knowing your worth, which itself earns respect. It protects both you and any partner from the corrosive resentment that builds when you are quietly patronised, and it establishes a peer footing before negotiation begins.
Origin
Chris Williamson developed this while running his events business Voodoo at 18-21, pitching grizzled nightclub and leisure-company owners twice his age who patronised him.
Core principles
- 01Unspoken condescension curdles into resentment if left unaddressed
- 02Pre-empting a bias disarms it better than pretending it isn't there
- 03Respect is offered first and requested explicitly, not begged for
- 04Naming a weakness openly signals confidence, not insecurity
- 05Competence must back the claim or the move reads as arrogance
How to run it
- 1
Read the room for silent condescension
Notice when you are being patronised or your competence is being discounted purely because of your age or newness. The feeling of being 'patted on the head' is the signal.
Pro tip Trust the discomfort; if you feel a pat on the head, the bias is already operating.
- 2
Raise it before the pitch, not after
Interrupt the drift early: 'Before we get started, I just wanted to say something.' Surface the dynamic while you still control the framing.
Watch out Leave it too late and resentment sets in on both sides, poisoning the deal.
- 3
Name the gap plainly
State the obvious out loud: 'I know we're a young company.' Owning the weakness removes its power as an unspoken objection.
- 4
Point to the track record
Immediately follow with evidence: 'Our results speak for themselves. Look at our track record.' Competence is the counterweight that keeps candour from becoming apology.
Watch out Skip this if you don't actually have results; the move collapses into hollow posturing.
- 5
Offer respect, then require it back
Close the loop: 'I have a lot of respect for what you've achieved. I'll treat you with respect and I expect that back.' You set a peer footing rather than a supplicant one.
Pro tip Framing it as mutual removes any 'unspoken stuff going on in the background.'
In the wild
Running Voodoo with his ex-business partner Darren, Williamson would lead pitches to nightclub and leisure-company operators in their 50s and 60s while still a teenager. He felt patronised and pandered to. Partway through, he learned to open with a version of: 'Before we get started, I know that we're a young company, but I think our results speak for themselves. I don't want you to discount what we can do simply because we're young. I have a lot of respect for what you've achieved, and I expect that back.' He found it called out the elephant in the room and shifted how the older operators treated him.
→ Older counterparts respected the candour and stopped discounting the young team's competence, protecting the working relationship from resentment.
Common mistakes
Staying silent and stewing
Absorbing the condescension without naming it lets resentment build toward both the counterpart and your own partner, which corrodes the deal and the relationship.
Claiming worth without the receipts
Asserting 'I'm great at what I do' with no track record to point to reads as arrogance and confirms the very dismissal you were trying to defuse.
Is it for you?
Best for
A capable young person walking into a high-stakes meeting with older, more established counterparts.
Not ideal for
Someone without a genuine track record to point to, where the move would read as empty bravado.
From the transcript
“I know I'm young, but I'm great at what I do. I'm gonna respect you. I expect you to respect me back.”
“You can look at our track record and it's very stellar. I'm going to treat you with the level of respect that I think you…”
From the episode
4.2M Q&A - Sleeping With An Ex, Harambe & Settling Down - #1104