The Practice of Groundedness
Build a solid inner foundation so you strive from strength, not frantic insufficiency
- Difficulty
- Expert
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 90%
Groundedness is a way of being built on a solid inner foundation, so that striving comes from confidence rather than a fear of insufficiency. Stulberg names five core qualities plus embodiment: acceptance (seeing your situation clearly), presence (being where you are physically and psychologically), patience (letting things unfold and stopping short of burnout), vulnerability (facing what you fold over), and deep community (relationships as ends in themselves) — anchored by inhabiting your body and doing real, bounded work in the world. The mechanism is that a secure sense of self lets you enter flow and 'play to win' instead of 'play not to lose', making performance both better and more sustainable. It does not eliminate ambition; it makes the journey more fulfilling and durable.
Origin
Developed by coach and author Brad Stulberg from his coaching practice with executives, entrepreneurs and physicians, and articulated in his book The Practice of Groundedness after he and his family downsized their life to a small North Carolina mountain town.
Core principles
- 01The finish line is an illusion; chasing external results forever keeps you on the hamster wheel
- 02You perform best from a place of already feeling enough, not from insecurity
- 03Simple is not easy; fundamentals beat bright shiny objects
- 04Striving and groundedness coexist — groundedness changes the texture of the striving, not the ambition
- 05Act from choice, not compulsion wrapped in self-worth
How to run it
- 1
Acceptance
Take clear stock of your situation, internal and external, without deluding yourself or pushing back against what you dislike. Create space between yourself and the situation so you can respond wisely rather than fuse with it.
Pro tip Pair acceptance with self-compassion — beating yourself up never helps you take productive action.
Watch out Acceptance is not passive resignation; it is seeing clearly and then asking what to do about it.
- 2
Presence
Be where you are, physically and psychologically. Cut the sources of novelty and distraction ('peanut M&Ms') and choose meaningful work you genuinely value so attention comes more easily.
Pro tip Get out of the candy store: take apps off your phone or keep an internet-free machine for deep work.
Watch out If you keep struggling to focus, the problem may be that you are spending time on things you do not truly value.
- 3
Patience
Give things time and space to unfold, and let things happen rather than always forcing them. Aim to be consistently good enough over a long period instead of heroic and unsustainable.
Pro tip Stop one rep short — leave a little in the tank so you can come back tomorrow.
Watch out Knowledge workers lack the gym's visceral feedback, so they push to fatigue and burn out; learn to read your own cues.
- 4
Vulnerability
Be real with yourself and others as a way to build trust. Face the insecurities you normally fold over; on the other side of each fear sits a core value to pursue.
Pro tip Real vulnerability should feel uncomfortable — if it feels easy or polished, it is probably performative.
Watch out Avoiding vulnerabilities lets them surface later and uproot you, like the villagers who froze fleeing the god Pan.
- 5
Deep community
Cultivate relationships as ends in themselves, starting with neighbours and the barista who have no idea about your status. Community is both gravity when your ego inflates and a safety net when things collapse.
Pro tip Being vulnerable first is what builds trust — research shows sharing builds respect and admiration, not weakness.
Watch out Do not treat relationships as means to a professional end; those are the ones that burn you and breed isolation.
- 6
Inhabit your body and do real work
Stop treating the brain as a machine in your skull and do something real and bounded in the world — deadlift, garden, mow the lawn — where you plainly succeed or fail. This keeps you humble, present and grounded.
Pro tip Choose activities that need no long verbal justification: the bar went up or it didn't, the tree grew or it didn't.
Watch out Powerful people who stop doing real things never fail, lose feedback, and drift off the reservation.
In the wild
One climber is obsessive about the summit — desperate for the selfie and the bragging rights, a failure if he does not reach the top. The other focuses on where he is, enjoys the journey, executes the right pitches at the right times, and relaxes in the evening. Both can summit, but the grounded climber returns to do it again and again, while the obsessive one is so drained by anxiety he never wants to climb again.
→ Groundedness makes high achievement repeatable and sustainable rather than a one-off exhausting ordeal.
The morning after his book launched, Stulberg found five emails from NBA general managers and front-office staff, including the San Antonio Spurs' VP of basketball operations, asking for copies for their teams. They responded to the message that you should care about results yet stay present where you are — people with real skin in the game validating that groundedness, not hacks, is the path.
→ Elite competitive organisations recognised groundedness as directly applicable to high-stakes performance.
Common mistakes
Chasing insufficiency as fuel
Believing you must feel 'not enough' to improve. The paradox is you have the best chance of getting better when you already feel enough, because a secure self lets you play to win rather than play not to lose.
Neglecting fundamentals for shiny objects
Spending energy on flashy tactics while ignoring the foundational principles, like drilling crossovers but skipping stabilisation work. When shiny objects cannibalise time for the basics, the whole structure gets fragile.
Treating every day like a marathon
Pushing to fatigue constantly instead of stopping one rep short. A single peak effort followed by recovery is fine; making every day an all-out effort guarantees burnout or worse.
Is it for you?
Best for
Successful high performers who feel internally unfulfilled despite conventional success.
Not ideal for
People seeking a quick productivity hack rather than an ongoing way of being.
From the transcript
“The alternative is to develop a sense of groundedness, a sense of being where you are, being strong and confident where you are, that does…”
“You have the best chance of getting better when you're doing it from a place of already feeling enough, of not having that insecurity.”
“The finish line is an illusion. So you think that the goalpost is 10 yards down the field, you get there, and then you realize…”
From the episode
6 Principles To Stop Feeling So Frantic - Brad Stulberg - #377
Brad Stulberg