Taking in the Good
Turn fleeting positive experiences into lasting inner strengths
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 95%
Growth has two necessary and sufficient steps: first experience the state you want to grow, then convert that passing pattern of neural activation into a lasting physical change. The second step is the one people constantly skip. Three keys accelerate the wiring: stay with the experience so the neurons keep firing, feel it in your body to deepen the neural trace, and focus on what is rewarding to recruit dopamine and norepinephrine, which flag the experience for priority storage and long-term consolidation. Done a handful of times a day for ten seconds each, this steepens the learning curve and compensates for the brain's evolved negativity bias, gradually turning momentary calm, confidence, or connection into durable traits.
Origin
Developed by psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson across his books Hardwiring Happiness and Resilient, grounded in Donald Hebb's principle that neurons that fire together wire together, and in experience-dependent neuroplasticity research.
Core principles
- 01States must become traits, or no learning happens
- 02Neurons that fire together wire together
- 03The mind is Velcro for bad experiences and Teflon for good ones
- 04You are actively taking charge of who you are becoming
- 05This is self-reliance, not positive thinking or rose-tinted glasses
How to run it
- 1
Have the experience
Notice or deliberately activate the beneficial state you want to grow, such as calm strength, gratitude, or a felt sense of connection. You cannot install what you do not first experience.
Pro tip Look for a handful of naturally occurring opportunities each day rather than manufacturing them.
- 2
Stay with it
Rest your attention on the experience for a breath or two or longer instead of skittering on to the next thing. Keeping the neurons firing is what makes the pattern stick physically.
Pro tip Attention is your most fundamental property; claim it back from the distractions hijacking it.
Watch out Our jack-rabbity, ADD-ish culture pulls you onto the next thing before anything lands.
- 3
Feel it in your body
Move out of the merely conceptual and let the experience be embodied. The more embodied an experience, the larger the neural trace it leaves, especially with repetition.
Pro tip Notice the physical sensations of the state rather than just thinking the label of it.
- 4
Focus on what is rewarding
Highlight what is enjoyable or meaningful about the experience. This increases dopamine and norepinephrine activity, which flags the moment for priority storage and protection in long-term consolidation.
Pro tip You don't need all three keys; each one you add compounds the effect.
- 5
Let it land and repeat
Allow the experience to sink in for roughly ten seconds, and return to the practice several times a day. Repetition is what converts a passing state into an enduring trait.
Pro tip Anchor it to routine moments: finishing a task, getting the kids to bed, seeing a sunset.
In the wild
As a shy, dorky kid who felt inadequate and unmanly, Hanson later did demanding things in the wilderness in college and beyond: pulling over an overhang, making a fire in the rain, feeling strong and even feral. Rather than letting those moments pass, he deliberately tried to help each experience of strength sink in, so it compensated for old feelings of worthlessness and slowly built grit over time.
→ Old feelings of inadequacy were gradually replaced by a durable, embodied sense of strength.
During a heated interaction with his wife, Hanson realizes it would go better if he does X instead of Y. He still has to clean up the current argument, but he pauses to let that learning about being more skillful land inside himself, so that next time his partner does the same irritating thing he does not react the same way.
→ The insight becomes a learned trait, changing his future behavior instead of evaporating.
Common mistakes
Skipping the second step
People routinely have the positive experience but never pause to install it, so no lasting change occurs. Firing without wiring produces no learning.
Keeping it purely conceptual
Merely thinking a label like 'I'm a strong guy' leaves a weak trace. Failing to feel the experience in the body forfeits most of the neural benefit.
Confusing it with positive thinking
This is not about ignoring threats or seeing the world through rose-colored glasses; treating it that way makes it trivial and superficial.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone deliberately trying to grow a psychological trait like calm, grit, gratitude, or self-worth.
Not ideal for
People seeking quick external fixes or unwilling to pause and attend to their inner experience.
From the transcript
“Whatever you want to grow in the neuropsychology of growth has two necessary and sufficient steps. First, we must experience what we want to grow...…”
“Those three, stay with it, feel it in your body, feel what's rewarding about it, will tend to steepen your growth curve, uh your learning…”
“Our minds are Teflon for good thoughts and Velcro for bad thoughts.”
From the episode
How To Develop A Resilient Mind - Dr Rick Hanson - #047
Dr Rick Hanson