Values as Measurable Behaviour
Turn moral beliefs into daily, countable actions so you can live by them and earn peace of mind
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 82%
Peters argues most people confuse values with what they find valuable or with drives, so their values give no behavioural guidance. His method fixes the definition first — a value is a moral belief you enact as a behaviour — then forces each value into an observable, countable action. Respect, for example, becomes 'I actively listen without diving in.' You then run a measurement week, tallying how often you demonstrated each behaviour, and check daily whether you lived by your values. Because the reward is peace of mind rather than happiness, living by defined values makes you resilient to criticism: whatever happens around you, you can look in the mirror and respect yourself. The discipline is separating true, actionable values from drives like curiosity or stimulation that belong in a different bucket.
Origin
Over 30 years building his mind model for patients, Peters found the only thing that reliably gave peace of mind — distinct from happiness — was knowing your values and knowing you'd lived by them. Patients told him that once they knew their values they became almost immune to being disturbed, so he built a repeatable way to define and measure them.
Core principles
- 01Peace of mind, not happiness, is the reward for living by your values
- 02A value is a moral belief acted out as a behaviour — if there is no behaviour, it is not a value
- 03What is valuable to you (a car, curiosity) is not the same as a value
- 04Knowing you lived by your values makes you almost immune to criticism and misrepresentation
- 05Measure indirectly — count the behaviours that produce the state you want
How to run it
- 1
Fix the definition
Before listing anything, agree one definition so you're on the same page: a value is a moral belief about what a decent person should do, acted out as a behaviour.
Watch out Googling 'what is a value' returns many conflicting definitions and creates confusion — pick one and hold it.
- 2
List your moral beliefs
Write the beliefs about how you think you should behave — respect people, help people, remain calm — that you'd want to define who you are as you set off each day.
- 3
Translate each value into a countable behaviour
Convert each value into a specific observable action. Respect becomes: I listen to someone's views without attacking or diving in, whether or not I agree.
Pro tip If you cannot name a behaviour, it is not a value — it's a drive or something you merely find valuable.
- 4
Separate values from drives
Filter candidates like curiosity or adventure through the behaviour test. Peters reclassifies curiosity as a drive for stimulation, handled separately, not a value that guides conduct.
Watch out Loading drives into your values list leaves you unable to use either to your advantage.
- 5
Run a measurement week
Pick a value and tally it for a week — e.g. how many times did I dive in without listening versus actively listen in an emotional discussion.
- 6
Check daily for peace of mind
Each evening ask whether you lived by your values. If yes, you're at peace with yourself regardless of criticism; the discomfort of being misunderstood becomes liveable.
In the wild
Peters values respecting everyone because disrespecting someone costs him his peace of mind. Rather than leave it abstract, he defines the measurable behaviour: listening to a person, giving them an audience, not attacking, hearing their views whether or not he agrees. To check the value he runs a week counting how many times he dived in without listening versus how many times he stopped, especially in emotional discussions, to actively listen. The vague virtue becomes a tally he can act on and improve.
→ A concrete weekly count that turns 'respect' from a slogan into trainable behaviour.
The host admits his core values, set three or four years earlier, include curiosity and adventure — things he enjoys but that give no guidance on how he behaves in the world. Running them through Peters' finer filter ('how does this inform the way I behave?'), he sees curiosity is really a drive for stimulation, not a value, and that respect for others would far more strongly influence the peace of mind he actually wants. He concludes he defined them erroneously and needs to revisit them.
→ Recognition that undefined 'values' were drives, so they couldn't be used to advantage.
Common mistakes
Confusing values with what you find valuable
Listing your car or a hobby as a value fails because there's no behaviour attached — it may bring happiness but not peace of mind.
Filing drives as values
Curiosity, adventure and stimulation are nebulous drives, not moral behaviours; treating them as values leaves you unable to use either properly.
Leaving values vague
If a value has no measurable behaviour you can't check whether you lived by it, so it never produces the peace of mind it's meant to.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone whose stated values feel nice but give no functional guidance on how to behave.
Not ideal for
People chasing happiness or excitement rather than steady peace of mind.
From the transcript
“peace of mind is knowing what your values are and knowing at the end of the day you've lived by your values”
“a value is a moral belief that you hold something you think is what should happen... which is going to be acted out with a…”
“you're right when you're saying you I'm not sure you define them clearly and therefore you won't be using them to Advantage”
From the episode
The Science Of Reducing Stress & Building Confidence - Dr Steve Peters - #671
Dr Steve Peters