MModern Wisdom
← All episodes
Will Storr20 September 2021

How To Play The Status Game - Will Storr - #374

4Frameworks
15Insights

Listen

Frameworks in this episode

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 1

Myth Buster57:30

Social media didn't invent this: cancel culture in 1986

The first recognisable social media site, The WELL, hit around 500 users in the 1980s and immediately produced mobbing, pronoun disputes, and a cancellation. Storr argues you cannot blame Zuckerberg or Dorsey; technology only removes friction. Silicon Valley throws ideas at us and humans decide which succeed, so platforms mould themselves around pre-existing human nature.

  • The WELL (1980s) showed mobbing and pronoun fights at ~500 users
  • Twitter is just status games: connect people and they compete
  • Front-facing cameras were built for business calls; we made them selfie cameras
  • Tech magnifies human nature but does not create it

you can't blame mark zuckerberg or jack dorsey for cancel culture

Will Storr · 59:30
#social-media#technology#cancel-culture#human-nature

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take46:30

Sudden fame is a disaster; a slow steady rise is the ideal life

Studying twelve very high-status celebrities, Storr found fame follows stages: dreamlike thrill, then losing old friends who remind you of the gap, then trusting no one, then craving to be known for the 'real me.' We did not evolve for global fame, and it often turns people monstrous. The ideal, he says, is a slow, steady rise in status across a whole life.

  • Fame progresses from thrill to friend-loss to total distrust
  • We evolved in small groups, not for global-scale fame
  • Sudden fame at 19-21 is often a disaster because it is unsustainable
  • The ideal is a slow steady rise, achieving something new each year

we're not designed to have that much status... we haven't evolved to have global fame levels of status it's not good for us

Will Storr · 49:00

the ideal sort of perfect life would be a slow but steady rise in status throughout your life

Will Storr · 49:30
#fame#celebrity#status#well-being

Explainer· 8

Explainer06:30

Status is the original currency our brain evolved to crave

Storr argues status is more fundamental than money because our brains evolved before money existed. As cooperative apes we first seek connection and belonging, then strive to rise within the group. More status historically meant better food, safer sleeping sites, and more mates, so the brain treats status as a direct proxy for survival and reproduction.

  • We evolved to crave status, not money; money is just one status symbol
  • First we connect into a coalition, then we strive to rise within it
  • More status meant better food, safer sleep, and greater mate choice
  • Status operates on two axes: within groups and between rival groups

in the book I describe it as the original currency... we've evolved to crave status and money is just one way

Will Storr · 06:30
#status#evolution#money#psychology
Explainer20:30

Why 70% of workers pick a fancy job title over more money

A study of 17,000 British employees found around 70% would choose a more statusful job title over higher pay, with filing clerks wanting to be 'data storage specialists.' Storr ties this to status being relative, not absolute: people routinely choose a lower absolute reward if it means a higher position relative to others.

  • ~70% of 17,000 UK workers chose a better title over more money
  • Filing clerks wanted to be called 'data storage specialists'
  • Many people prefer lower absolute pay if it means higher relative pay
  • Status is not an irrational choice; it is a genuine psychological need

70 percent of them said... they would opt for a more statusful job title rather than more money

Will Storr · 20:30
#status#relative-status#work#psychology
Explainer23:30

Your conscience is an imaginary audience predicting your status

Storr frames the conscience as an internal enforcement mechanism: a prediction machine that simulates how your group would reward or punish an action. Imagine doing something shameful and it twitches with fear; imagine doing something admirable and it feels good. Childhood, he says, is largely about training this imaginary audience so you carry the rules of your culture inside you.

  • The conscience is an 'imaginary audience' modelling group reactions
  • It predicts status gains and losses before and after you act
  • Dropping too far in status once risked ostracism or even death
  • Childhood trains the internal audience so parents become unnecessary

the conscience is this imaginary audience... this kind of prediction machine

Will Storr · 23:30

childhood is about training that imaginary audience in your head so you don't need the parents anymore

Will Storr · 29:30
#conscience#morality#status#psychology
Explainer30:30

Humiliation is the nuclear bomb of emotions and the 'dangerous triad'

Humiliation is not just losing status but being robbed of any hope of reclaiming it, effectively banned from the game. Storr found humiliation at the core of genocide, honour killings, and serial murder. The most dangerous profile is the grandiose, repeatedly humiliated male prone to violence, illustrated by Elliot Rodger and Ted Kaczynski.

  • Humiliation robs you of any hope of reclaiming status, not just the status itself
  • One psychologist calls it 'the nuclear bomb of the emotions'
  • Grandiose + humiliated + male + violent = the 'dangerous triad'
  • Elliot Rodger and the Unabomber both fit the grandiose-humiliated pattern

one psychologist describes humiliation as the nuclear bomb of the emotions

Will Storr · 31:00

male grandiose and humiliated is really really dangerous

Will Storr · 32:00
#humiliation#violence#psychology#status-loss
Explainer41:30

Healthy vs toxic status games: CrossFit versus Enron

Storr says a successful group is a status-generating machine that pumps esteem into all its players. CrossFit works because members positively clap and encourage each other, making it addictive and healthy. Enron's 'rank and yank' system, which fired the bottom 15% regularly, made everyone terrified and is his example of a miserly, toxic status game.

  • A successful group generates status for all its members, not just the top
  • CrossFit is a positive success game: members pump status into each other
  • Status is freely given; withholding it makes a group hellish
  • Enron's rank-and-yank created terror, the model of a toxic status game

any successful group is a status generating machine it's generating status for all of its players

Will Storr · 41:30
#status#workplace#crossfit#enron
Explainer51:30

'The floor': we adapt to status and always want more

Storr's chapter 'the floor' describes how quickly we acclimatise to any status gain. Imposter syndrome fades fast, we decide we deserved the rewards and our critics were idiots, then we want more. He likens it to a WHOOP fitness tracker that only shows 'green recovery' if you keep improving, so the only way to satisfy the status craving is to keep growing forever.

  • We quickly acclimatise to new status and then crave more
  • Imposter syndrome after a bump rarely lasts long
  • Like a WHOOP recovery score, satisfaction requires endless improvement
  • This treadmill helps explain why super-famous people become monstrous

we very easily acclimatize to our sense of status... we accept the status and we acclimatize to it and then we want more

Will Storr · 52:00
#hedonic-adaptation#status#growth#psychology
Explainer54:30

The 'tyranny of the cousins' explains cancel culture

Storr argues our ancestral groups often had no single big-man leader but relatively egalitarian elders who ruled by consensus. Punishment came not by decree but by gossip and gathering moral outrage that built until it fired at a rule-breaker. This 'tyranny of the cousins' maps precisely onto internet mobs: no one starts or stops a cancellation, it self-assembles through accusation, gossip, and consensus.

  • Many ancestral groups lacked a single leader, ruling by consensus
  • Punishment emerged from gossip and building moral outrage
  • Modern mobbings echo deadly tribal mobbings in disturbing detail
  • No one is in charge of a cancel-culture mob; it builds and fires itself

no one's in charge of a council culture mob no one can start it no one can stop it

Will Storr · 56:00
#cancel-culture#anthropology#mobs#status
Explainer12:30

Tight vs loose cultures and why threat makes us crave dominant leaders

Storr explains the psychology concept of cultural 'tightness' versus 'looseness.' The UK and US are loose and value individual freedom; Germany and the US southern states are tighter and more conformist. Under threat like war or a pandemic, groups tighten and both men and women come to prefer dominant leaders, which he says is actually appropriate in a genuine crisis.

  • Cultures range from tight (conformist) to loose (freedom-valuing)
  • The West is loose; Germany and US southern states lean tighter
  • Under threat, groups tighten and crave dominant leaders
  • This preference holds across both genders in times of danger

when the status of a group feels under threat like in terms of war or even a pandemic... the people want to be led by…

Will Storr · 12:00
#culture#tightness#leadership#conformity

Story· 4

Story00:30

The giant yams of Pompeii: we can turn anything into a status symbol

On a Micronesian island, the only way to break into the upper ranks was to grow the biggest yam, so men snuck out at 2am to secretly cultivate monsters that took twelve men to carry. Storr uses it to show status can be attached to anything. A giant yam, a Ferrari, a $2.4 million watch, or being the best activist are all equally arbitrary vessels for the same craving.

  • On Pompeii, growing the biggest yam raised a man to 'number one'
  • Men obsessively grew secret yams so large they needed twelve carriers
  • A $2.4m watch just tells the time, like a giant yam it is arbitrary
  • We can direct the craving for status at literally any symbol

we can direct our craving for status at anything and we do and a yam is among those that we can use

Will Storr · 01:30

that 2.4 million dollar watch is just as stupid as a giant yam

Will Storr · 03:00
#status#anthropology#symbols#consumerism
Story35:30

The brain scan that exposed tall poppy syndrome

In a Shenzhen study, people were told others had done better or worse than them on a game, then scanned while watching those people receive painful injections. They claimed to feel empathy for everyone, but their brains only lit up for those who had done worse. Storr uses it as hard evidence that we withhold empathy from those we see as higher status.

  • Participants were ranked against others on a rigged game
  • Brain scans showed empathy only for lower-status others
  • People verbally claimed empathy for everyone; scans revealed otherwise
  • Reading of others' success activates pain signals; their falls bring pleasure

they tended to only feel empathy for the people who'd done worse than them... and they didn't feel any empathy for the people who did…

Will Storr · 37:00
#tall-poppy#empathy#neuroscience#resentment
Story66:30

You can't exit the status game, even meditators can't

Storr says there is no exiting the status game, only playing different ones. A study of 3,700 ego-focused meditators found they scored high in 'spiritual superiority.' He recounts being publicly shamed on a silent retreat for pointing his feet at a supposedly enlightened teacher, who turned out to be intensely chippy about his own status.

  • There is no exiting the game, only switching which games you play
  • 3,700 meditators scored high in 'spiritual superiority'
  • Getting good at meditation can breed a sense of special insight
  • Even a meditation guru was touchy about his own status

they measured very high in spiritual superiority

Will Storr · 67:30
#meditation#ego#status#spirituality
Story65:00

How the legal profession's status game breeds corruption

Storr cites a paper by a former lawyer turned judge warning new recruits they would become corrupt within two years. Because lawyers are hyper-competitive, money is their status symbol, published league tables track earnings, and they already work flat out, the only way to climb is double-billing and 'losing' unhelpful documents. The status game structurally pushes them toward dishonesty.

  • A judge warned new lawyers they'd be lying and stealing within two years
  • Money is the status symbol, tracked by published earnings league tables
  • Already maxed on hours, the only edge is double-billing and hiding documents
  • The intense status game drives high divorce, alcoholism, and drug abuse

you're going to become corrupt every day you're going to be making corrupt decisions

Will Storr · 65:30
#law#corruption#status#competition

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway38:30

Change your environment, not yourself: the lizard on the iceberg

Contrary to self-help orthodoxy, Storr argues it is very hard to change yourself and far more effective to change your environment, including the people around you. A lizard on an iceberg is miserable; move the same lizard to the desert and it thrives, though nothing about the lizard changed. If someone repeatedly makes you feel bad, he advises getting rid of them.

  • Changing yourself is hard; changing your circumstances is underrated
  • The lizard is only miserable because of its environment, not itself
  • Choose your friends carefully; status contagion is real
  • Cut people who repeatedly make you feel bad

you can put a lizard on an iceberg and it's a miserable lizard but... put it in the desert suddenly it's a happy lizard

Will Storr · 39:00
#environment#friendship#self-help#well-being