Copy-Flatter-Conform
The instinctive strategy humans use to rise toward high-status people
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 78%
Storr describes an instinctive human strategy for rising in status: we lock onto the high-status people in our own game, then copy, flatter, and conform. Humans copy far more indiscriminately than chimps — in one study young children imitated every step of a procedure while chimps dropped the useless ones. Storr recalls, aged eight, unconsciously mimicking pop star Nick Kershaw's way of crossing his legs. The mechanism is a climbing strategy: we imitate those above us, lavish them with esteem, and do what they say, so they let us stay close and we hopefully rise too. Recognising the pattern lets you aim it deliberately — choosing worthwhile models rather than copying at random.
Origin
From Will Storr's The Status Game, drawing on comparative studies of human children versus chimpanzees and his own childhood imitation of a pop star.
Core principles
- 01Humans are extraordinary copiers and blindly imitate high-status people
- 02We attach to those playing the same game we want to win
- 03Copying, flattering, and conforming buys proximity and eventual rise
- 04The instinct runs subconsciously, often without our noticing
How to run it
- 1
Spot the high-status players in your game
Find the people you look up to who are winning the same game you want to win. These are your natural models.
Pro tip Choose models playing your game, not distant celebrities you cannot realistically emulate.
- 2
Copy their behaviour
Deliberately observe and adopt the habits, methods, and mannerisms of those above you in the hierarchy.
Watch out Humans copy indiscriminately; consciously keep what is useful and drop what is mere ritual.
- 3
Flatter and give them status
Genuinely admire and lavish esteem on your models. Freely-given status makes them willing to keep you around.
- 4
Conform to earn proximity
Follow their lead and the norms of the group so you are accepted into their orbit and can learn directly.
In the wild
As an eight-year-old obsessed with pop star Nick Kershaw, Storr saw him on TV crossing his legs a certain way — ankle on knee — and simply started sitting like that himself, without knowing why. It was the copy-flatter-conform instinct running silently: he was modelling a high-status figure in a game he wanted to win, unconsciously imitating in the hope of rising toward him.
→ Illustrates how automatically humans copy high-status models, often without conscious intent.
Common mistakes
Copying without judgment
Unlike chimps who drop useless steps, humans imitate everything; blindly copying a model can carry over their flaws.
Modelling a rival instead of a mentor
Copying someone you are jostling with breeds resentment rather than the admiring proximity that helps you rise.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone deliberately choosing mentors or role models within a field they want to rise in.
Not ideal for
Situations where blind imitation replaces independent judgment or where the copied model is actively harmful.
From the transcript
“I call it the copy flatter conform process... we copy them we flatter them... and we conform”
From the episode
How To Play The Status Game - Will Storr - #374
Will Storr